Never A Victim
by kdzl
Summary: Victims were supposed to be poor.  Victims were supposed to be uneducated.  She was NEVER supposed to let this happen.  JJ/Hotch, Warnings of Domestic Violence.
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note: **Though I have previously written a domestic violence fic, someone requested I write this story and it just sort of fell into place. _

* * *

"_They're all voiceless about it. They're afraid to speak. And the strange thing is that while you're a __victim__ of __abuse__, you don't know it. You don't realize it."_

_-Carol Channing_

* * *

JJ collapsed against the closed door, every ounce of energy spent as fumbled in her purse for the keys she knew were buried somewhere as she offered a brief smile to her son who watched her intently.

He had already been through enough.

Especially tonight.

She didn't need to let him know how exhausted—and terrified—she really was.

But things weren't always like that.

_He_ wasn't always like that.

She knocked softly on the door, feeling her spirits soar as nothing stirred—signifying that Hotch had yet again been called away on some knightly errand to save the world from monsters that preyed on the innocent.

It was odd to think that she had, at one point, been a part of that life-saving crew.

How far she had fallen.

Relief washed over her as her fingers wrapped around the familiar keys.

If Hotch knew she came here, he would understand.

After all, it had been he who asked her to 'house sit' when he was off on cases and Jack spent the night at Jessica's.

But if he knew why she was coming, he could never understand.

Sliding the key into the lock, she winced as she unconsciously used her bad wrist to open the door. Pulling the inflamed extremity close to her chest, she turned and pushed the door open with her shoulder.

She cringed as she caught sight of her face in the hall mirror as she flipped the lights on, flooding Hotch's home with warm comforting light. Quickly disarming the security alarm, she couldn't tear her eyes off the inflamed ugly mass that adorned her cheek.

Henry whimpered as he pushed tiredly against JJ's worn frame.

JJ scratched the back of his head softly and pulled him into her lap as she collapsed down on the overstuffed chair. She pulled her son into her arms, lovingly rubbing his brow as she willed him to sleep.

Right now, she just wasn't too sure what to do.

But at least she had somewhere to spend the night.

In the morning, Will would call her—he had to call her—and let her apologize.

He would tell her he was sorry, she would admit that she shouldn't have made him so mad.

Come morning, they would repeat the apologies that seemed almost a rehearsed script.

But for now, he needed time to cool down.

Thank God Hotch was out of town.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note: **Thank you for the trememdous words of support and encouragement._

* * *

Hotch stood uncertainly at the door of the unfamiliar elementary school's Principal's Office. Knocking quickly on the door, he smirked slightly at the thought that he had yet to visit his own son's elementary school for a visit to the Principal's Office.

But the secretary had been nearly frantic.

Apparently JJ wasn't answering and Will was unavailable. The thought that JJ would not answer her phone was downright flabbergasting, but he quickly dismissed the thought as he realized that JJ hadn't worked for him in years.

While the pair had remained friends, her life at the Department of Defense seemed perfect.

Her life in general seemed the picturesque depiction of a scene from Better Homes and Gardens.

And while he smirked with pride that the younger woman had managed to keep everything together, the pride was far easier to acknowledge than the jealousy that William La Montagne Jr. had somehow managed to steal the woman of his dreams out from under him.

As always, his timing sucked.

Because just as he was ready to act on his feelings, he discovered JJ was pregnant.

That was almost seven years ago, and the biting pain that seemed to tear at his heart every time he caught a glimpse of the blonde hadn't lessened with the passing of time.

However, she seemed genuinely happy.

And if anyone deserved happiness, it was her.

He was aware of her upbringing, far to similar to his own, and he took comfort in the thought that JJ could at least find happiness where he had failed.

Failed miserably would be a more accurate description.

"Agent Hotchner?" The principal asked, relief washing over the man's face as he gestured the agent inside. "Thank you for coming."

"No problem." Hotch assured, still slightly confused as to why he had been called. "Hi Henry." He greeted, smiling at the seven-year-old who squirmed uncomfortably in the chair that seemed to engulf him on the other side of the principal's desk.

Henry nodded, silently scuffing his own feet across the floor as if wanting to hide from the inevitable trouble he knew was on its way.

"I'm sorry to bother you Agent Hotchner, but Ms. Jareau and Detective La Montagne were unavailable." The principal apologized as he took his seat behind the desk.

"It's fine." Hotch brushed the apology away and sat down next to Henry, "but I was a little surprised that I was the next contact."

The principal frowned as he looked through the papers. "You have been Henry's emergency contact since Henry here started school."

Hotch's brow quirked in surprise, but decided to let the issue drop. "What seems to be the problem?"

The principal sighed as the balding man attempted to explain, "Apparently while Henry and the other children on the 'Individualized Educational' tract were doing an art project with the mainstream group, Henry knocked over a bottle of paint."

Hotch glanced between the principal and the seven year old boy, wondering just where this led to an emergency trip to the Principal's Office. "And?"

"According to Mrs. West a boy at his table called him stupid."

"Oh." Hotch furrowed his brow in confusion, still not entirely understanding. "I'm sorry, but why is that—"

"Henry ran away from school while Mrs. West's back was turned. The janitor managed to catch him before he left school grounds." The principal explained and Hotch wondered why the portly balding man hadn't started off with that fact.

Hotch nodded with understanding of the situation finally starting to dawn. "Oh. Well—"

"Agent Hotchner, I know I need to speak with Henry's parents, and I've already left a message for them to speak with me. But since this is not the first time Henry has run away from school, we're going to have to ask you to take him home early."

"Sure." Hotch agreed easily. After all, JJ had done plenty of things for him in the past, he certainly could help her out with Henry.

_But why wasn't Will answering?_

"Come on Henry, Let's go home." Hotch gestured to the boy to follow him.

* * *

Hotch smiled as he dribbled the basketball, waiting for the two boys to make their defensive move. While he wasn't the type of parent to go easy on his son, he also refused to beat Jack by more than two points.

And lately, the ten year old was giving his father a run for his money.

Even Henry seemed to be picking up the game.

"Hotch?" Will sighed with relief as he came around the corner of the house. Hotch picked up the basketball and felt the cogs in his mind turning as Henry stopped abruptly, his shoulders slumping forward as if defeated.

"Hey Will." Hotch smiled easily, approaching the other man with an outstretched hand.

Will smiled amicably and gripped Hotch's hand tightly. "Thanks for watching him. I just got the message from the school." He narrowed his gaze at his son who was nearly pleading for the earth to swallow him whole. "Henry. Let's go home."

Henry shook his head and backed away slowly from his father.

"Damn it Henry, I don't have time for this." Will groaned, shooting Hotch an apologetic look, he furrowed his brow seriously. "Let's go. Now."

Henry glanced over at Hotch pleadingly before slowly stepping toward his furious father.

Hotch frowned, uncertain why he felt a tingling of familiarity at the back of his mind. He too had gotten in trouble in school, but he had an alcoholic mother and an abusive father.

So the situations weren't exactly the same.

Still, there was something…off…about this. "Go easy on him." Hotch insisted, speaking up for the boy who had spent the afternoon at his home. "He's a good kid."

Will nodded tersely. "Running away from your problems don't make it any better." He grumbled and Henry quickened his step to run toward his father.

Hotch looked around in surprise. "Where's JJ?"

"Probably at home on the couch." Will muttered as if Hotch couldn't hear him.

Hotch's brow quirked in surprise. _Where the hell was JJ?_

"Let's go." Will grumbled, smiling at Hotch apologetically. "Thanks for watching him." Will said gratefully as he placed his hand on the back of Henry's neck and guided the boy back toward the car.

"Sure." Hotch waved, turning back toward his own son and scratching his head in surprise.

_That was odd._


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note: **I'm astounded by the outpouring of support for this story, so thank you to all reviewers._

* * *

Several weeks later, Hotch grimaced as he nursed a glass of scotch, unwilling to think of the horrors that ruled his day and how they could impact the little boy who was sleeping in the room upstairs.

What type of father allowed himself to be a part-time hero, full-time absent father?

He couldn't help but feel guilty.

Jack was his world—his everything—and could he really claim a victory if he saved the whole world at the expense of a relationship with his son?

He shook his head softly, that wasn't going to happen.

He loved Jack.

And most of all, he wasn't his father.f

At least he had that going for him.

But poor Jack had already lost a mother, and the only woman his son looked to for motherly advice was happily ensconced in a perfect relationship.

Damn his life.

A soft knock at the door surprised him—partly because of the lateness of the hour, partly because of the timidity of the knock. Flipping the lights on, he stood back in surprise as he heard a groan on the other side of the door.

By the time he reached the front door, however, whoever had knocked at the door was gone.

But the almost imperceptible whiff of perfume that wafted toward his nostrils filled him with a sense of nostalgia…though he wasn't sure why.

It reminded him of JJ.

Glancing down at the glass in his hands, he shrugged and put the glass down.

Better not to tempt fate.

Because the last person he ever wanted to become was his father.

* * *

JJ held her breath as she heard Hotch open his front door, momentarily praying he didn't try to inspect further.

When the lights flickered on, she knew he was home, and did what she did best.

She ran.

At least, she ran around the corner.

She had just needed somewhere to go.

Somewhere that she and Henry could spend the night.

As if reading her mind, Henry shifted sleepily against her, and her heart dropped as she prayed her son wouldn't make a sound.

The last thing she needed was for someone to know.

She cursed herself as she thought of how angry she had made her boyfriend to force him to kick them out with nothing but the clothes on her back and the empty gum wrapper in her pocket.

He would call and say he was sorry.

He _had _to.

Because she had nowhere else to go.

Pulling her jacket softly around her son for warmth, she shuddered involuntarily as her mother's familiar relationship advice nearly shouted in her mind. _'Remember, if you've got relationship problems Jenny, it's never the fault of one person alone. You are just as much at fault as your spouse.'_

She vowed not to let herself fail at this relationship. And even though her father was an abusive bastard, her parents were celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. Her mother must have done something right, and JJ refused to fail. Not this time.

And if there were problems, well…maybe that was just how relationships were.

At least he didn't hit her this time.

* * *

Hotch paused as he looked at the residue still lining the glass, fighting the nagging feeling that seemed to tug his soul to check and make sure no one was outside.

After Foyet, he was all too aware that monsters could show up at his very doorstep.

He hesitated for a moment, reminding himself that not every story ended poorly.

Not every story ended in tears.

But there was something—a sixth sense—something less than a profiling deduction based on facts and situations, but more than just a feeling.

Someone was out there.

Bracing himself for what he was sure was a false alarm; he grabbed his gun from the safe and stepped outside.

The crisp March air nipped at his warm skin as he stepped into the darkness. Rounding the corner of his wrap-around porch, he stopped in surprise at the huddled figure on the ground, leaning heavily against the siding of the house.

"JJ?" He blinked in surprise, flabbergasted at the sight of his friend. Thousands of questions raced through his mind at once—_Why are you on my porch? Why did you hide? What are you doing here?_—Finally, he settled on, "Can I help you?"

"Hotch." JJ gasped with wide eyes, wincing as she pulled her shirt to cover the dark mass on her upper shoulder. "I—" She searched for the words—any words—that could explain why she was here.

_I didn't have anywhere else to go._

No, she couldn't say that—Hotch would think something was wrong.

But Will would call and say he was sorry.

Hotch didn't need to know the intimate details of their relationship.

"I—had to run to the store" The words fell out of her mouth in a rush and she prayed Hotch wouldn't be able to tell she was lying, "I walked over to CVS and realized I didn't have my wallet…and I locked myself out of the house."

Hotch furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "You walked with Henry to CVS at 10:30 at night?" He asked deftly, wondering if it was just the alcohol that slowed his mind.

But this didn't seem to make sense.

JJ nodded, and Hotch was sure he saw her wince as she pushed herself up with one hand, Henry's bright blue eyes looking at Hotch suspiciously from behind her. "We ran out of…" She looked at him helplessly, flashing a fake grin he could swear he had seen her give the press thousands of times, "we ran out of milk."

"At 10:30?" He shook his head, still reeling at the sight of the woman in front of him. "JJ, you must be freezing. Come inside."

Stepping toward them, he cringed as he felt her frozen fingertips brush against the hairs of his arm. Realizing the story she had just given him, he fell back slightly in surprise. "You walked here?"

She bit her lip in hesitation. Hotch only lived half a mile away, but there was a different reason she used his home as her escape from late-night arguments.

She felt safe there.

"Will's not home. I—" She tried to come up with some fabrication that could resemble a valid excuse. "I didn't—" Her voice cracked involuntarily, "I didn't know what else to do." She admitted, cursing the vulnerability that managed to seep into her voice.

Hotch opened the door, ushering JJ inside as his mind sluggishly tried to connect dots he wasn't sure were there. Certain at least, that something was going on, but realizing JJ was nearing the edge of her perfectly maintained control, he gestured for her to sit.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" He offered gently, not missing the wave of relief that seemed to wash over the blonde as he dropped the issue.

If he wasn't sure something was going on before, he was dead sure now.

What the hell was happening?

"Just water." JJ smiled gratefully, snuggling comfortably into the oversized arm chair that seemed to have somehow conformed to her body.

She supposed she spent enough time there, maybe the chair recognized her presence.

At least Hotch wasn't going to press the issue.

Returning with a cup in hand, Hotch raised an eyebrow in surprise at how comfortable JJ appeared in the chair that just didn't seem to feel quite right to him anymore. Shaking the flag that raised itself in his mind, he handed her the glass, noticing immediately the way her fingers trembled as she accepted the drink.

"I haven't seen you in a while." Hotch admitted, settling himself into the love seat just opposite her. "But my pipes didn't freeze over the winter, so I guess I have you to thank for that."

JJ smirked, but Hotch noticed the way she held the seven year old year old protectively against her, "With as much as you go out of town, I'm surprised you remember that you have a house to come back to." She teased.

Hotch smiled, though he didn't bother fighting the nagging feeling that weighed on him.

Something was wrong.

"JJ, is everything okay?" He asked sincerely.

"Of course," She dismissed quickly—too quickly in his opinion—flashing an easy, but seemingly rehearsed smile. "Everything's fine."

Hotch nodded, knowing that JJ didn't lie, but also well aware that there was something going on. "But if something was wrong, you know you could tell me, right?" He prodded.

JJ's face softened and for a moment he could sense the vulnerability behind the mask that she so carefully constructed to protect herself from the outside world. "I know."

He nodded, satisfied at least slightly that she knew she could come to him.

Still unsettled that something was amiss, he tried a different tactic. "How is the Department of Defense?" He asked conversationally.

Drunk or not, he would have been a fool to miss the way JJ's entire countenance dropped. "Oh. Uh…" She hesitated as if lost for words—that, more than anything else, proving that his instincts were not wrong.

Because Jennifer Jareau was _never_ at a loss for words. "I quit." She brushed off the subject easily, .

Hotch fell back against the couch involuntarily, stunned at the news. "You…quit?" He sputtered, not comprehending the words. JJ was nearly as much of a workaholic as he was.

She wouldn't just quit.

Ever.

She looked down at the floor, obviously uncomfortable, "Will got promoted." She stated as if that explained everything. Seeing Hotch continuing to gape at her, she added, "We decided it was better…I just…I needed to be home with Henry." She finally settled on.

"How long?" He asked, dazed.

Maybe he was more drunk than he thought.

"A few months." She shrugged as if it didn't matter in the slightest.

But it did.

Because her job was _everything. _

And letting that go—that had mattered more than anything else.

"A few months?" He repeated, confused.

"Uh, can I use your phone?" She asked after a moment, and for the life of him he couldn't figure out why she seemed so uncomfortable. "Garcia has an extra set of keys. I don't have my phone with me…" She shuddered involuntarily at the memory of how Will had grabbed it and threw it against the wall sending tiny shards flying in millions of pieces, "I can be out of your hair—"

"It's no problem." Hotch interrupted, beginning to worry that this was more than some odd happenstance.

Because JJ's very demeanor—it reminded him an awful lot of…

No…

That wasn't possible.

"You can stay here tonight, you know." He offered, handing her his cell phone. "I have extra rooms, it's not—" His words were cut off by a sharp knocking at the door.

His heart sunk as he saw JJ's face pale and her eyes grow wide as if terrified that some monster was knocking at his door to drag her down to the pit of despair. "I'll just—" He gestured toward the door.

Worry was met with surprise at the sight of the two uniformed officers that greeted him on the other side of the door. "Aaron Hotchner, we're with DCPD." One officer gestured to the shield displayed on his chest. "We're looking for a missing person named Jennifer Jareau."

"Missing?" Hotch asked in surprise. This night kept getting stranger.

JJ stepped around Hotch, facing the officers. "I'm JJ." She said, cradling Henry tightly lest any of the men see the way her fingers trembled from the adrenaline of her earlier argument.

It hurt to breath, it hurt to think.

But she couldn't let anybody see that.

"Ms. Jareau." The officer smiled with relief, "your boyfriend was worried about you. He said you never came home today."

JJ bit her lip nervously.

She didn't know what Will had told the police.

But she also knew from experience how angry he would be if she tried to come home before he apologized.

Realizing Hotch was cataloguing her every expression, she smiled and forced a grateful relief into her voice. "Oh, I locked my keys in my car. I didn't know Will was home, so I came here."

Warning bells sounded in Hotch's mind as JJ's story changed.

Something was wrong.

JJ never lied.

But she was lying now.

The younger officer stepped away to radio in, and Hotch felt his heart sink as the first officer smiled kindly. "If you'd like, we can give you a ride home."

Cursing the officer, Hotch prayed JJ would say no.

He needed to talk to her.

JJ too was cursing the officer, but for different reasons.

If she refused the officer, Hotch would think something was wrong. Will might think she told the police something about their fight.

But if she went home…

"Ms. Jareau?" The officer prodded.

She hesitated and sighed, wincing noticeably as the pain in her ribs exploded from the movement. "Uh, yeah. Sure." She decided, willing to risk coming home too early.

She hoped it was the right choice.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note: **Someone kindly pointed out to me that there was a typo in the last chapter regarding Henry's age. Just to clear up any confusion, Henry is seven, Jack is ten. If I accidentally type something else, just know that is a mistake._

* * *

_'You've reached Jennifer Jareau, I'm no longer working with the Department of Defense, so if you need to contact them please call Roger Altman at ...' _Hotch grimaced as he slammed the phone down at getting the familiar answering machine.

Last night didn't make any sense, and he needed to talk to JJ.

But she wasn't answering.

What the hell was going on?

Hotch looked up in surprise as Garcia slammed his office door shut and gloweringly sat down in the chair across from him.

"Yes Garcia?" He asked questioningly, shuffling papers to subtly send the message that he was not to be interrupted.

He had to find out what was going on.

"Do you know?" She asked, as if this three-word question made all the sense in the world.

"Do I know—_about_?" He prodded.

"JJ." Penelope rolled her eyes, leaning forward intently. "Do you know?"

"That she quit the Department of Defense?" He asked, inwardly knowing—but hoping he was wrong—what Garcia's impassioned inquisition was really about. "She told me last night."

Penelope relaxed, collapsing against the back of the chair in complete relief. "She went to your house last night?"

Hotch hesitated, not wanting to voice his newfound suspicions aloud if he was completely off the mark. Normally, he didn't ever question his ability to profile.

Live by the profile, die by the profile.

But this was _JJ_.

And this couldn't possibly be happening to her.

"Yes." He settled on vaguely replaying the events of the night before. "She was at my house and I let her in—"

"So she told you what happened?" Garcia smiled in relief. "Oh, thank God. I thought she'd never—" Seeing the look on Hotch's face, her countenance fell. "She didn't tell you, did she?"

Hotch bit the inside of his lip thoughtfully. "I—"

Penelope drooped visibly, her head falling to her hands as the weight of the world flattened her normally. "Never mind." She whispered, her voice cracking in utter defeat. Looking up at him, she sniffed back the tears of failure as she tried to excuse herself. "Sorry, I'll just—"

"It's happening to her." Hotch interrupted, his voice cold and muted with disbelief. "Isn't it?"

Garcia stopped, her mouth dropping open slightly. "You know." She sat back in the chair, torn between feeling a wave of gratitude that she no longer was fighting this battle alone.

"I know." Hotch nodded softly. Sighing, he leaned forward. "Now I need you to tell me everything _you_ know."

* * *

Hotch was surprised at how small Garcia's office seemed. Maybe that was because he felt like the world as he knew it was crashing down around him.

Maybe it was because with all Garcia did for the team, she deserved a bigger office.

Even if her office was still bigger than his own.

Still, she deserved a bigger office.

"I never liked that Cajun Trash." Garcia muttered as she retrieved a thick file out of her filing cabinet.

"How long have you known?" Hotch asked, fighting the urge to drop this carefully sorted stack of papers and beat the pulp out of Will La Montagne.

"Long enough." Penelope shook her head. "I mean, when I first met him, something was off."

Hotch nodded, remembering a similar feeling. He too had felt the alarm bells start ringing when Will showed up during a case, forcing JJ air their relationship to the team.

Or when he demanded her to take herself out of the field.

But he had dismissed it as a worried boyfriend looking after the welfare of his girlfriend and unborn child.

Even then, though, it was odd.

"We went out to dinner a couple of times. I remember that he just kept putting her down. He told embarrassing stories that made Jayje feel uncomfortable. It was weird." Penelope rubbed her forehead, wondering not for the first time why she hadn't noticed the signs sooner. "But she told me that was just how he was."

Hotch nodded grimly, disgusted as he filed through pages and pages of detailed injuries. Sometimes, there was a picture or two cataloguing various injuries.

Bruises.

Stitches.

Burns.

_Bite marks._

He felt disgusted. "When did—" He trailed off, unable to really clarify what he was asking.

He didn't really know himself.

"One night, we had just gotten home from a case—JJ called me from the hospital." Penelope bit her lip at the memory of going to the hospital only to feel like the rug had been slid out from underneath her.

"And you knew." Hotch deduced, glancing back to the first page where he rightfully assumed was the second Garcia started compiling the information. Broken ankle. Rope burns on her wrists.

How could he not have known this was happening?

"I thought she would leave. And I almost had her convinced too." Garcia felt her eyes burning, but needed to get this out.

It had been a secret for too long.

"What happened?" Hotch asked softly.

An errant tear escaped down her cheek as she remembered the feeling of utter hopelessness. "We were leaving the hospital and he showed up." She shook her head, full of revulsion for the man who was slowly destroying her very best friend. "He _apologized_!"

"She went back to him?" Hotch fought the bile that rose in his throat at the thought of what JJ was going through.

What Henry was going through.

He knew too well what that felt like.

Penelope nodded, and soon, the words exploded from her mouth in a desperate attempt to make him understand. She still felt so guilty. She should have done something to stop this, but _she couldn't_. "I did everything I could think of. Hotch, she made me _swear_ not to tell everyone."

"You should have told us." Hotch bit out darkly, still loathing himself for not catching this earlier.

"When? When we were hunting serial killers? When I was standing in front of people with cameras and they kept asking me questions? When was I supposed to tell you?" Garcia pled.

"We needed to know. You should have told me." Hotch grimaced at the sight of the picture on the page he had turned to.

"How? How could I betray her trust? Hotch, she has nothing. She has no one. I'm the only one who knows, the only one she can call." Penelope's voice cracked, "Hell, I know she doesn't call me _half_ the time. But don't you see? If she can't trust me, if she loses her trust in me, he wins." She choked back the emotion as she willed Hotch to understand. "If she can't trust me, he's got her all alone."

Hotch gulped, knowing all too well what that would mean. "You tried to get her to leave?" He asked.

Garcia nodded, swiping away a stray tear with the back of her hand. "A couple of times." She sniffed back her emotions, rubbing her temple tiredly. "She said—she said she _needed him._" Penelope spat the words out in complete disgust. "And—"

"And Henry needed a father?" Hotch asked, already knowing the familiar answer.

After all, it was his mother's justification.

Why wouldn't it be JJ's?

"How did you know?" Garcia gaped at him.

Hotch cringed, "I've—" He hesitated, not willing to unburden a lifetime of excuses on the tech, "I've heard it before."

Somewhat satisfied, Penelope sat back in her chair, quiet as Hotch continued to pour through the file in front of him. After a minute, she spoke up again. "She's not on any of the bank accounts anymore."

Hotch looked up in surprise, before nodding grimly. "Financial dependency." He murmured, his stomach falling.

"It gets worse." Garcia sighed, reaching over to the file in his hands and flipping familiarly to a specific page. "He—" She trailed off, unable to say the words as she gestured to the medical file in his hands.

Hotch's brow furrowed in confusion. "Major Depression Disorder…Agoraphobia…" Hotch scanned the medical diagnoses that labeled JJ as suffering from mental illness. He closed his eyes in an attempt to stop the burning in his eyes. "JJ? Afraid of being in crowds or out in public alone?" He shook his head in utter disbelief, "She's probably the _least _Agoraphobic person I've ever met."

Despite the severity of the information in front of him, he almost laughed at the glare Penelope leveled at him.

"Except you, of course." He amended.

"Damn straight. But...from the reports I read, Will took her to the hospital saying she was trying to hurt herself. Based off his _helpful_ observations, the doctors gave her a psychiatric diagnosis. And abuse turns into self-mutilation. Attempted murder turns into attempted suicide. And magically, CPS has reason to take Henry away if JJ was to ever leave."

Hotch groaned, "He's attributing his violence to her_._" He ran his hands over his eyes tiredly, "And she probably never said anything different. She might actually believe him."

"But the worst part? He turns a system designed to protect people like her against her." Garcia seethed.

Hotch fell silent, mystified at how he could have missed this.

With his childhood, he should have been an expert.

And yet he missed it.

Looking over the familiar photographs again, Penelope felt herself fill with rage, "I hate him! Hotch, did you know that there's _nothing_ I can do?"

"Nothing?" He asked, knowing that if there was a way, Garcia would have been able to find it.

"Nothing!" Penelope yelled in frustration. "I write everything down in his file, and then what? He gets fired? Then JJ and Henry don't get to eat. I report it to CPS? JJ's got a _mental health _diagnoses that would make them take Henry away! Anything I try and do hurts JJ _not _the scumbag."

"How did you find all of this?" Hotch asked, not for the first time astounded at Penelope's ability to uncover information. JJ's car insurance was switched to Will's name.

Her car was under Will's name.

Damn.

"It wasn't easy. Especially once her government health insurance expired. Apparently Will has 'conveniently forgotten' to add JJ under his policy." Garcia ground out with derision.

"And Henry?" He asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

If Henry was being hurt, William La Montagne Jr. might not make it to see tomorrow-as it was, the measly weasle was only alive right now because he had managed to slime his way through the system.

But there would also be things he could do to make sure JJ _and_ Henry were safe.

It was a catch-22.

Damn.

Penelope sighed with relief. "That's the bright side, if you can call it that. Henry's never gone to the Emergency Room, when JJ's called me, I've checked Henry over and there's never been so much as a scratch," She ran her hand through her hair, "But Hotch, I don't know what more I can do..."

"We'll help her Garcia." He promised the woman on the verge of tears, almost saying the words for his own benefit as much as Garcia's. "We have to." He promised, praying inwardly that someone would zap him with the knowledge of what the hell he was supposed to do.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's Note: **Thank you for the support regarding this story. I have been truly astounded._

* * *

JJ scrubbed furiously at the pan in front of her, not noticing that the residue had long since disintegrated under her hands.

Will was going to be home any second, and things needed to be perfect.

They had to be.

Because JJ wasn't the type of person who failed.

Ever.

She refused to be a failure as a housekeeper too, since she had already failed at most of her attempts at being a good girlfriend—or a good mother for that matter.

Maybe this time, she could get it right.

She was surprised Garcia hadn't called yet. She knew that Penelope was watching police reports, hospital incident reports—everything to try to protect her.

And after last night's misunderstanding, Penelope was probably freaking out.

But if Will knew she called Garcia, it would just start another fight. So JJ would wait, she would wait until Penelope called first. She knew Penelope was watching, waiting for a hint of something afoul.

And for some reason, JJ couldn't find it in herself to bristle that her friend was meddling in her life.

Garcia just didn't understand.

JJ didn't notice how the warm water gradually grew hotter and hotter, scalding her hands.

She just had to get this perfect.

She jumped as she heard the door open and slam shut, cuing Will's return home from work. Softly drying her hands, and only then momentarily realizing that her fingers were throbbing from the hot water, she forced a bright smile on her face despite cursing herself for not being better prepared.

Will was home early.

She should have thought of that.

Will seemed to stare through her as he surveyed the kitchen, easily detecting that dinner had barely been started. Grimacing, and without a word, he turned and retreated back to their bedroom.

"Will?" She asked, forcing away the hurt that cut her sharper than a knife at his dismissal as she hesitated in front of their bedroom door.

She bit her lip thoughtfully, wondering if she should try the doorknob or allow him to relax after a hard day of work.

"Will?" She asked again, cursing the way her voice broke slightly—even she could hear the vulnerability in her voice.

She hated feeling vulnerable. But she only felt this way because she hadn't had everything perfect—it should have been perfect.

Damn it, why wasn't it perfect?

Trying the handle to their bedroom door, she felt her heart drop to find it locked. If she could only talk to him and explain…

Her focus was drawn from the locked door by a gentle tug on the back of her pants. Looking down at the her seven-year-old, she smiled. "What's wrong Sweetheart?" Henry whimpered as he buried his head against JJ's legs. JJ winced as she felt the heat from his head permeate through the thin fabric. She bit her lip nervously, not for the first time feeling concerned that her son was not as vocal as other children his age.

_Not as vocal_, Will's voice sneered in her mind, _He's practically mute._

She winced at the accurate description, just more evidence that she needed to be at home with Henry.

Because her son needed her.

Even if she was a failure.

"Do you not feel well?" JJ asked softly, cringing as she ushered Henry toward the kitchen, accidentally reigniting the pain in her chest.

Her ribs _hurt._

But the pain, as odd as it sounded, made her at least know she was still there—that she could still feel.

She was alive.

Sometimes, it was nice to be reminded she could still feel something.

Abandoning her attempt to mend her straining relationship, she glanced back at the bedroom momentarily as she remembered that Will had the only key to the medicine cabinet.

_For Henry's safety_—she reminded herself, as if trying to convince herself that this entire situation was not horribly wrong.

But Henry had a fever.

Maybe a cool cloth could bring down the fever, she should probably try that before bothering Will after a long day of work.

She nearly cried out as Henry brushed against her arms, whimpering as he collapsed against her, only then realizing her skin was red and blistered from her earlier dishwashing.

She'd have to get some ice for that.

Once she took care of Henry.

* * *

A week later, Hotch watched from afar as Will kept a protective hand around JJ's waist while both talked to the animated Governor at his fundraising gala.

Ironically to raise money for domestic violence.

Hotch grimaced as JJ smiled politely, laughing at all the right times, her very frame the picture of poise and control.

But it was only because he was cataloguing her every move, each tick of her facial muscles, each movement of her eyes that he saw it.

The wince.

The cringe.

The _fear._

She held herself perfectly, except for the momentary lapses—more like micro-expressions that lasted for less than a second.

No one could maintain that mask permanently.

Not even Jennifer Jareau.

He was vaguely aware of Penelope Garcia at his side, watching JJ just as closely as he was.

A woman spoke up from behind them,_ "Isn't that Captain La Montagne adorable?" _The woman whispered to an unknown companion._ "He and his wife are the perfect couple."_

_"Oh, you've heard they aren't married." _Another woman spoke up.

_"They have a son with autism." _The first woman informed._ "I mean…can you imagine a more beautiful couple?"_

_"He's so sweet with her." _The second woman crooned._ "You're right, they're a gorgeous couple."_

Hotch shuddered at the thought of unsuspecting observers commending William La Montagne.

He wasn't sweet.

He was an abusive bastard.

A weasle.

Who didn't deserve to live.

_"And did you hear he _cried_ when their son was born." _The second woman nearly squealed, _"If only every man were so sensitive."_

_"I've heard he's a shoe-in for the next Chief of Police." _The first woman agreed.

"Not if I have anything to do with it." Penelope grumbled under her breath, pasting a smile on her face as JJ glanced over in their direction.

Will noticed JJ's diverted attention and had Hotch been watching with less fervor, he would have missed the way the younger man pulled JJ closer, his fingers tight against her waist.

But even if Hotch hadn't been watching JJ like a hawk, he wouldn't have missed the wince that crossed her delicate features.

Hotch was across the room in a second, fury growing with every step, not bothering to see the way that Garcia cheered him on from behind.

JJ smiled as he approached, "Hotch, it's been so long." She greeted politely, despite the fingers that pressed forcefully against her side, reminding her of the man beside her. "Will and I were just saying—"

"Can I talk to you?" Hotch asked grimly, forcing himself to maintain control.

For JJ.

Because if he exposed her in front of everyone she would be humiliated.

But the bastard beside her was _hurting her_.

JJ glanced towards Will, and at his almost imperceptible frown she apologized with the perfect press face she had developed after years in front of the media. "We are actually probably going to go, maybe I can talk to you later?"

"If she remembers." Will teased, causing the group surrounding them to erupt in polite laughter. "Former Government Official, and now she forgets to return phone calls."

Hotch noticed the way JJ's cheeks flamed with embarrassment.

It was a little thing.

Not something he normally would have batted an eye against.

Except for now, he knew.

This was more than just teasing banter between a loving couple.

No, there was much more going on.

The calculating coldness in Will's eyes coupled with the hurt JJ could barely kept hidden seemed to ignite the feelings for the blonde that he thought he had long ago buried.

He reacted before he could stop himself, his forearm pressed tightly against the younger man's throat as he threw him against the wall. "Don't." Hotch growled, ignoring the curious stares from the other guests as his fist connected with Will's face. "Don't you dare touch her!" He yelled, his fist raised in the air as it prepared for another blow.

"Hotch!" JJ pulled at his arm, forcing him back as Will clutched at his throat gasping dramatically. "What are you doing?" She ran to Will, trying not to wince as he used her to stand back up.

"Don't you dare touch her." Hotch warned Will seriously, mindful of the security guards pressing toward him as someone kept him back from destroying Will from the face of planet. "Don't you dare."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Will coughed as he regained his footing. Seeing Garcia's not so concealed joy at Will's ass kicking, Will narrowed his glar, "If—"

"Don't." Hotch repeated as security grabbed him forcefully by the arm and pulled him out of the room. "Don't you dare."


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's Note: **Thank you for the support regarding this story. I have been truly astounded. I know many of you are somewhat expecting a quick fix to this, like Hotch swoops in, carries JJ away and it's perfect happy family time. But this story isn't going to be like that. Believe me, Hotch will save the day, but he also recognizes JJ's not ready to leave just yet. Unfortunately, in this story, JJ is a little stubborn and unwilling to admit that there is a problem. But it wouldn't be a story if she didn't come to figure that out, now would it? :)_

* * *

"Jack, can you get us a few apples?" Hotch asked his son nearly two weeks later, handing him a sack from the roll above the carrots and other vegetables. He could easily watch Jack as he grabbed the fruit, but knew how much Jack loved it when he was entrusted with any task whatsoever.

"Sure!" Jack snatched the sack out of his hands and ran toward the apple display as if desperate to prove that his father's trust in him was not erroneous.

Hotch smirked at Jack's excitement, thinking if just for a moment that maybe he was doing something right.

After all, Jack was an outgoing child that couldn't seem to contemplate a father acting violently for the simple reason that he was a bastard.

At least that was something.

"Dad." Jack whispered excitedly, suddenly by Hotch's side. "Is that Aunt JJ?"

Hotch looked toward the Bakery, surprised to see beautiful blonde with her back turned to them, apparently captivated by the lines of fresh bread that was stacked neatly along the wall.

It was unmistakable that the woman who had dodged his calls for weeks was now standing several feet away.

He had even stopped by her house and had Garcia check to make sure she was alright.

This was _hell_.

Hotch nodded and crouched down toward his son, "Do you think we should go say 'Hello'?" He asked.

Jack grinned and darted off excitedly. "Aunt JJ!"

JJ turned around, her own grin broadening as she saw Jack running toward them, grateful that the swelling around her left eye had finally gone away. "Look Henry, it's Jack, can you say 'Hi'?" She asked, looking down at her son who clutched the corner of his shirt in one hand while being completely engrossed in the game he was playing on his Nintendo-DS that she had saved for in order to get him for Christmas.

Henry kept playing, with only a brief glance around that signaled he had even heard his mother, he returned his focus to the game.

"Hi JJ." Hotch's smile was small and uncertain as he had no idea what to say.

"I don't have anything to say to you." JJ muttered as she felt Hotch standing next to her. "How's school going Jack?" She asked the ten year old excitedly.

"Great." Jack smiled, "And Mrs. Fienstein said—"

"Jack, just a second." Hotch interrupted, pushing his son gently behind him. "What did I do?"

"What did you do?" JJ turned to him incredulously. "You're supposed to be my _friend_! You _humiliated me_ in front of my friends, Will's co-workers, people that I have to see every _day_." She seethed, pure rage radiating off her, "And you ask me 'What did I do'?" She snorted. "You _beat up_ my boyfriend!"

Hotch cringed at the accurate description, particularly that his impressionable son might hear less than savory details about what happened the other night.

But truthfully, there was more than that.

If JJ didn't trust him—couldn't go to him—then how was she supposed to get away?

How could he help her get away?

"Like I said," JJ huffed, turning back to the baked goods in front of her, "I have nothing to say to you."

He fell silent for a moment, searching for the right words—any words—that could fix all of this.

_I love you_, just didn't seem appropriate.

And he **wasn't** sorry.

"I'm sorry I let it get this far." He settled on, finally able to articulate the truth that kept him up at night.

He saw JJ and Will almost every week at soccer games.

Sometimes they went out for pizza afterward.

And he _missed_ it.

JJ's eyes widened, and though he didn't know what he had said to enrage her further, he easily saw the fire ignite behind her clear eyes. "What goes on in mine and Will's relationship is _none_ of your damn business." She warned, her voice low and cold, nearly sending a shiver down his spine.

He tried to say something, but the seething look she gave him stopped him in his tracks.

He smiled apologetically, "I'm sorry." He said, not bothering to admit that the things he was sorry for and the things she wanted him to apologize for were nowhere close to the same. She wanted him to apologizing for trying to help, he was sorry he hadn't stepped in sooner. "Why don't I take you out for lunch?" He offered generously, "Let me make it up to you."

She hesitated and frowned, "No, it's fine. Will should be getting home soon and I only have cash on me. I'm trying to decide whether to buy bread or milk."

He frowned because he'd seen it before. He remembered days where his father had only given his mother $13 for a weeks worth of groceries. No mother, no parent, should have to chose between bread or milk, eggs or cheese, just so they could find a way to get by. He shook his head, trying to keep himself for projecting his own issues onto JJ.

She already had it bad enough, and hopefully he hadn't made it worse.

"At least," He pointed to the small deli inside the Super Market, "Let me buy you a bagel and a cup of coffee."

It killed him to see the hesitation, _the worry_, cross over her features.

Damn.

"Fine." She relented, the corner of her mouth twitching upward in a smile, "But you have to get Henry a doughnut."

"Deal." Hotch smiled. "Can I get you anything else?" He asked as they approached the little alcove designed for patrons to sit and eat while shopping.

"No." JJ smiled, "Bagel and coffee is fine."

He pulled the chair out for her, gesturing for her to sit while the boys slid into their own seats. "I'll be right back." He promised, shooting a look to Jack reminding him to be on his best behavior.

Minutes later, Hotch returned with two cups of hot coffee and several bagels and doughnuts. "Have at it." He smiled just as Jack finished some animated story about his school field trip.

JJ sighed as she pulled the Nintendo out of Henry's hands and placed it on the table. "Look what Uncle Hotch got for you." She smiled and held the doughnut up like a prize. Henry shrugged and quickly made a pass to snatch the device from his mother.

"No Henry." JJ scolded, placing the doughnut on a napkin in front of her son. Flashing a tired smile at Hotch, she added, "Kids."

"Yeah." Hotch returned the smile knowingly. "So is Will upset with me?" He asked conversationally, hoping to know for certain the fear that kept him up at night since his altercation with Will.

The jackass could be taking it out on _her_.

JJ shrugged, sipping her coffee gingerly. "I don't think so." She shook her head, remembering all too well whose fault Hotch's outburst was.

Hers.

"Garcia was right by you, I think he figures you were momentarily corrupted by her hatred of Will." She explained, trying to hedge around what had been one of the worst arguments she and Will had.

"I thought Penelope was Henry's Godmother." Hotch observed, confused as to what could have changed. "But she and Will, they don't get along?"

JJ snorted, "Um, in a word, No." She chuckled. "I swear, the two of them—" She trailed off as Henry abandoned his doughnut and pulled his handheld Nintendo toward him, instantly starting his favorite game.

"Henry, I said _no_." JJ repeated, grabbing the gaming device from her son's grasp and placing it in her purse. She smiled apologetically at Hotch as she pushed Henry's doughnut toward him, a clear indication that he should eat the treat without hesitation.

Henry's face screwed up angrily, slapping JJ's arm hard as he leaned across her to retrieve the Nintendo-DS.

"Henry!" JJ scolded, holding his hands gently in her own as she looked at him angrily. "Don't hit."

Henry ripped his hands out of his mother's and slapped her jaw, a loud crack sounding in the air as he reached toward the item that was simply out of reach.

Hotch looked on at the scene with disbelief.

This was a hell of a lot worse than he had ever imagined.

The loud crack had seemed to silence all activity in the Supermarket, every person in the store staring at the four people dumbstruck at the table.

Henry looked at his hand, flaming red and tingling from the contact and looked up at his mother's face in surprise. Before JJ or Hotch could react, the seven year old stood up and ran.

"I'd better go." JJ apologized, running after him.

"Dad?" Jack asked, not realizing that his father was captivated by the retreating blonde.

"Yeah?" Hotch replied, clearing his throat.

"Why is Aunt JJ walking funny?" The ten year old asked innocently, watching too as JJ retreated. "She looks like...she looks like it hurts."

Hotch closed his eyes in utter defeat.

Damn.


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to everybody who has read and reviewed this story. This chapter is for crazyobsession101 who wanted to see JJ and Henry interaction to see what that is like. As you'll see, Henry loves his mother but because of his home environment, he only knows two ways to deal with anger: violence and running. The next chapter should be up soon._

* * *

Henry leaned against his mother closely, taking comfort in the warmth and steadiness that radiated from her while she read to him.

" _A smoke seemed to rise up and darken the sun's disc to the hue of blood, as if it had kindled the grass as it passed down under the rim of earth. 'There lies the gap of Rohan',_" His mother read, her soft relaxing voice lulling him slowly to sleep, "_said Gandalf. 'It is now almost due west of us. That way lies Isengard.' 'I see a great smoke,' said Legolas. 'What may that be?' 'Battle and war!' said Gandalf. 'Ride on.' "_

Noticing her son's eyelids drooping heavily, JJ smiled as she kissed the blond headed boy next to her. "We'll start the next chapter tomorrow."

Henry whined drowsily as he snuggled closer to her, longing to hold on to the comforting feeling of protection that her presence provided.

"Tomorrow." JJ reaffirmed softly, pulling Henry tightly against her in a warm hug. "Now- -"

_'JJ!'_ Will called distantly from his spot in front of the television. JJ bit her lip, fighting her first instinct to run to his beck-and-call and looked down at her son.

"Henry, we need to talk about what happened today." JJ said seriously, the little boy still snuggled against her. "You slapped me today. We don't ever hit, _ever_." She said pointedly, pulling on his chin to tilt his eyes toward her. "It is never okay to hit someone."

_'JJ, where are you?' _Will's voice was louder, more angry but JJ pushed that away.

Some things were more important, and she would do anything for Henry.

Even if it meant causing another disagreement with Will.

Her face softened as she saw Henry's eyes fill with tears. He was obviously sorry, but she wasn't about to let this go quite yet. "Henry, I know when we told your daddy about what happened, he laughed. But it's not okay to hit people. Do you understand me?"

Henry nodded, burying himself tighter against his mother.

_'Damn it JJ, where the hell are you?' _Will bellowed from somewhere downstairs.

JJ sighed, trying to disentangle herself from Henry so she could fix whatever she had somehow managed to make a mess of. She frowned as Henry clung tighter to her, as if pleading for her not to go.

"Henry," JJ smiled at the boy, "it's time for you to go to bed."

She chuckled as he shook his head, burying it against her shoulder. After all, what seven year old _liked_ going to bed?

"Henry. Bed time." JJ hugged him once more, pulling herself away as she knelt beside his bed to reach his eye level. She smirked as he fought bravely to keep his eyes open, as if by single handedly staying awake, he could keep her by his side forever. "I'll see you in the morning. I love you." She kissed him goodnight, smiling as he sighed against his pillow and buried himself deep in his blankets and pulled them close.

Almost as if the mountain of blankets would keep him safe in JJ's absence.

She smirked as she checked the nightlight and watched Henry snuggle in deeper in his blanketed cocoon. "I love you Henry, sleep tight." She said softly as she closed the door, bracing herself for the next argument she knew was coming.

Henry bit his lip and waited, hoping the stillness would remain quiet, if only for a minute.

Because quiet meant that his Mom wasn't getting hurt.

Quiet meant no yelling.

Henry was wise, wiser than any seven year old should have to be. Having seen for years that saying the wrong thing had just led to getting hurt, Henry learned to stay quiet. Silent, even.

Because if he was quiet, he would never say the wrong thing.

And then no one would yell. No one would get hurt.

And he could have a happy family.

He jumped as the sound of a glass shattering against a wall seemed to shake the entire house. Anxiously, waiting on pins and needles for the next sound, he felt himself relax as he heard the door slam.

The child knew the routine as well as anyone else. Either his mom would be in his room in an instant, gently waking him and telling him they were going on 'A Late-Night Adventure'.

Or, his mom was safe.

A slamming door meant that he and Mom would not be going to Uncle Aaron's to sleep on his couch.

Waiting, he felt his eyes droop softly, the corner of his lips turned upward in contentment. "I love you too Mom." Henry murmured as he closed his eyes and gave into the drowsy darkness.

Tonight, every one was safe.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to everybody who has read and reviewed this story. I was genuinely surprised by the outpouring of support. I'm glad you are enjoying this story._

_Just by way of explanation, this story is very personal to me. I understand readers who may think of JJ as weak or spineless, but I'd like to point out that every time she defies Will or talks back to him, it shows what strength she has. Just getting out of bed in the morning is fighting to survive. For many people who find themselves in this situation, it isn't like they wake up one day and all the sudden they've been involved with this monster. It's gradual, and as awful as it sounds, people who have suffered at the hands of domestic violence don't realize that the psychological/emotional abuse is bad. They find excuses, blame themselves for the physical abuse. If you or anyone you know is suffering at the hands of an abuser (whether it be physical or otherwise) please visit: www [dot] thehotline [dot] org or call 1 800 799 SAFE_

* * *

Weeks later, Penelope pulled out her ringing phone while the rest of the team continued to prepare for their weekly 'UnSub Annihilation', this time, taking place in Apple Valley Minnesota.

As she looked at the caller ID, her face blanched and she quickly excused herself from the others.

This was urgent.

"Where are you?" Penelope asked immediately, not bothering with pleasantries.

JJ didn't call her about pleasant things anymore.

When JJ didn't answer, Garcia cursed the fact she was hundreds of miles away from her very best friend.

Who needed her.

Times like these were when apparition would come in handy.

Or a nice 'beam me up, Scotty'-esque transportation.

A soft breathing was on the other line, and the lack of words terrified Garcia more than any of the horrific images she saw cross her screens daily.

"JJ?" Garcia asked, hoping that her worst fears couldn't be recognized.

_Please don't let her be dead._

"JJ!" She was shouting now, aware that the profilers still cleaning up the conference room were watching her with confusion. Stepping outside the conference room and she ran to find somewhere she could be alone.

Somewhere she could find out what the hell was going on.

Without having everybody hear.

How the hell did this happen?

"_Answer me JJ!"_ She shouted nearing hysteria, the very threads of her psyche fraying like a thin rope suspending an elephant.

The soft, familiar whimper that answered her stopped her in her tracks. "Henry?"

_This entire situation was so messed up._

She held her breath and for a moment, no words were passed as both she and Henry simply breathed into the phone.

"Henry, is everything okay?" She asked, holding her breath as she hoped against hope that she would wake up only to find this was all some nightmare.

Some horribly terrible nightmare as a result of too many pepperonis or a late night Hershey's Sunday Pie.

But this was a nightmare that she couldn't seem to wake herself from.

Because she had tried.

And if this was a dream than someone upstairs had one wonky sense of humor.

After a minute of listening to her godson breathe silently into the phone, she asked again, "Henry, is your Mom okay?"

She could hear scuffling, static that could only mean that Henry was moving from wherever he had hidden towards hopefully a fully conscious and uninjured Jennifer Jareau.

If only Garcia could be so lucky.

_"There!" Will's voice shouted. Even muffled by whatever Henry was holding the phone under, Will's voice echoed through the phone. "Ask me again for your fucking medicine!"_

_"I'm sorry—" JJ coughed pathetically, her voice far weaker than it ever should be. "I have Bronchitis." She tried to explain. _

_"Take it!" Will bellowed. "You've been bitching at me all night! Take it!"_

_"I can't take that much—" JJ coughed again, her thick bark breaking Garcia's heart._

_"Take all of it damn it! Take it all!" Will screeched._

Garcia gasped, horrified as she heard a scuffle—followed by a sickening slap—and a sputtering.

_JJ coughed, fighting to catch her breath. "I need—I can't breathe"_

_"Who gives a shit?" Will spat venomously. "I'm going out." _

JJ let out a sob and Penelope felt her entire soul shattering as the door slammed shut. Somehow, she found herself back at the conference room with Prentiss and Rossi looking her at confusion.

"Get Hotch on the phone." She rasped, her own voice thick with emotion. It was only then she realized she had tears running down her face. "I need Hotch—_now!"_ She urged the stunned profilers, not willing to even breathe too quickly that it might disconnect the call.

She prayed Hotch could get there in time, thanking his need to be close to Jack that made him leave as soon as the UnSub was caught.

Please let him get there in time.

* * *

He didn't even knock.

The late night phone call from a confused Dave surprised him, mostly because he knew the UnSub had been caught and all the team tried to help him preserve uninterrupted moments with his son.

But the one word uttered after Dave handed the phone over to Garcia, _JJ_, sent him completely over the edge.

She was hurt—he knew it.

And all he could see was red.

He didn't even knock as he barreled through the door, gun in hand as if _now_ that could offer some protection. "JJ?" He shouted because he didn't know where she was at.

He probably shouldn't shout.

All he knew was she was hurt.

She needed him.

The apartment reeked of Lysol and Bleach, the pristine condition mocking the dirty horror he knew was happening behind the front door. He saw Henry sprint away from the kitchen, and rushed toward where the seven-year-old had run from.

JJ was crumpled in the corner, a small blanket and several stuffed animals surrounded her. "JJ!" He was by her side in a second, checking her pulse right away.

_'Hotch?' _Garcia screeched from the phone laying gently on JJ's shoulder. _'What's happening! Is she okay?'_

"Call an ambulance." Hotch informed, relieved that he could at least find a slow but steady beat palpitating below his fingers.

_'It's already on the way.'_ Penelope assured.

He was surprised at that, and momentarily dismissed his shock—he had, after all, driven like a maniac to get her.

And it was a good thing he had.

JJ was leaning heavily against the dishwasher, her head tipped to one side and vomit pooled down her arm and shoulder.

Even like that, she still looked beautiful.

Grabbing a dishcloth that spilled out of an open cabinet, he mopped up the bile as best he could, knowing that JJ would never want anyone to see her like this.

Moving her phone that rested lightly on her other shoulder, and promising Garcia he would stay by JJ's side until Garcia could get a flight back to DC, Hotch disconnected the call and surveyed the kitchen. An empty bottle of Nyquil lay haphazardly on the floor surrounded by a couple of empty prescription bottles, Hotch grimaced as he wondered what else she had taken.

That was all he had managed to glean from Garcia who wouldn't let him hang up the phone until Jessica arrived at his house seconds after he called her.

At least Jack wouldn't have to see this.

All the cabinets below the counter were opened, and pots and pans were spilled on the floor as if someone had been searching desperately for something.

_Henry_.

He stood to find the boy, not entirely certain that Will wouldn't pop out from behind some dark corner.

Somewhere, deep inside, he hoped so.

Because then he'd have the chance to beat the living shit out of William La Montagne.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author's Note: **I apologize for the delay in posting, there was one section of this chapter I couldn't seem to get right. Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and alerted to this story. _

* * *

She felt like she was pushing through a thick fog with a soft incessant beeping beside her.

Pushing through the fog, she relaxed slightly as the weight that seemed to constantly press down on her soul momentarily lifted.

It was as if she didn't have a care in the world.

Other than that annoying beeping that kept her from drifting into a restful sleep.

She kept her eyes shut as she regained consciousness, sighing in relief at the comfort of the small blanket draped around her was tucked in tighter around her.

_"Henry, can you sit here and watch your Mom? I'm going to step outside for a second." _Hotch's voice asked softly.

Her sluggish mind stopped, confused. _When did Hotch get here?_

She heard the door open and shut softly. Barely peeking an eye open with all the strength she could muster, she was surprised at the white expanse that greeted her.

_A hospital?_

Her eyelids drooped heavily, but before losing consciousness once more, she had one brief thought cross her mind.

_How did I get here?_

* * *

"Chief Watson." Hotch greeted the DC Chief of Police grimly with a handshake. The balding, white haired man nodded softly.

"I just heard," The Chief shook Hotch's hand. "I can't believe we let it get this far."

Hotch closed his eyes in grateful relief. Someone else could help him throw Will out of JJ's life like the piece of trash he was. "Thank you for your help."

"I mean, I told La Montagne that crazy wife of his was going to get him into trouble, and now the guy's got to spend a night in _jail_ because she's one bird short of a coo coo's nest." The police chief groaned, "And now a great officer is going to have that on his record for the rest of his career."

"Excuse me?" Hotch asked, his voice low as pure rage boiled inside of him.

"I mean I get it, we need to protect _victims_." The man rolled his eyes at the last word, "But just last year I had an officer whose wife was schizophrenic yet _he_ was charged with domestic violence. It's just not fair."

"Not fair?" Hotch sputtered, completely floored at the man's comments.

"Like I said, it's a shame he didn't take care of this before."

"I don't care what the hell you think you know," Hotch exploded, his tone nearly as deadly as the fire in his eyes, "But you blind imbecile are exactly the reason why this has been able to go on right under your idiotic nose."

"I don't know what you think—"

"You know what I think?" Hotch spat incredulously, "I think you are the most incompetent man I've ever met. One of your officers, a police _captain_, has been _terrorizing_ his family and you've promoted the bastard."

"La Montagne is a good officer." The Chief defended, "I would know if one of my men—"

"You would know?" Hotch snorted sarcastically. "Sure. But I tell you this, you either approach the district attorney about filing charges, or I will." He promised deadly, "Because there is no way in hell I'm going to let that man come near Jennifer Jareau."

"Are you trying to tell me how to do my job?" The man asked, obviously offended, "I've been—"

Hotch pushed the man forcefully toward JJ's room, stopping lest he allow anyone affiliated with Will to permeate the protective barrier he had set up. Gesturing toward the still unconscious figure that could be seen through the glass window, he growled protectively. "_That_ shows me you have no idea how to do your job."

The man shifted uncomfortably at the sight of the woman he had genuinely come to like with obvious bruises beginning to form on the side of her face. "La Montagne wouldn't do this. There has to be—"

"She's got a five inch scar along her shoulder blade." Hotch spoke softly, effectively cutting the man off as Chief Watson strained to hear, "_Five inches_." He shook his head, "And that's just the beginning."

Chief Watson gulped as he tried to force away the thought of what this woman had been through. The sight that tugged on his own heartstrings, though, was the way the seven year old boy sat protectively by his mother's side. Chief Watson had his own boy the same age. No son should have to sit by the bedside of his mother, hoping she would wake up.

"Talk to the DA about filing charges." Hotch repeated, his low voice almost daring the Chief to disagree with him. "If you don't I will."

* * *

JJ cursed herself as she jumped at the light knocking on the frame of the door. "JJ, I'm Sarah. I'm a client advocate with the hospital. The hospital asked me to come and talk to you. Is it okay if I come in?" The woman asked softly with a hint of tenderness as if she was afraid JJ would skittishly run away.

JJ nodded quickly, not really wanting the company but sensing that this woman would likely just come back. "Talk to me about what?"

The other woman, a brunette in her mid-to-late 30s, smiled kindly as she gestured to the seat at JJ's bedside. "Is it okay if I sit?" She asked gently.

JJ shrugged, reluctant to allow the other woman to approach her bedside and pepper her with questions she didn't want to answer.

Sarah paused at the chair and waited until JJ gave her permission to seat.

Seeing that she was only dragging this on longer, JJ relented. "Of course, sit down." She gestured to the chair and watched as the other woman sat down at the seat that Hotch had implicitly claimed at her bedside.

"How are you feeling?" Sarah asked, genuinely concerned.

JJ smirked, well aware of the woman's diversionary tactic. "Foolish." She smiled, hoping to get this conversation over with.

Really, she just needed to do whatever she could to get out of this hospital.

Will would be so angry.

Because they didn't have the money for her to be running to the Emergency Room all the time.

She cringed involuntarily at the thought—hopefully he wasn't still mad.

So lost in her own thoughts, she suddenly realized the other woman had asked her a question. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked you what makes you feel foolish." The woman smiled patiently.

The lies flowed out of her mouth before she could even try to stop them. "I'm a mother of a seven year old and I forgot to read the directions." She smirked self-deprecatingly. "I swear, embarrassing accidents only happen to me."

"Is that what happened? An accident?" The woman asked gently.

The smile froze on JJ's face. "Why—why would you ask me that?" She sputtered, feeling the heat rise up her cheeks. "Of course it was an accident."

"What ma—" The woman began to ask calmly, but was cut off immediately by the woman in the hospital bed.

"It was an accident." JJ insisted firmly leaving no room for argument.

"That must have been hard for your son to see." Sarah mused conversationally, grateful the adorable little boy had joined Agent Hotchner down in the cafeteria. She didn't miss the way JJ bit her lip as if disgusted at the thought of what Henry must have seen.

"Yeah." JJ's voice cracked though she desperately tried to keep her emotions at bay.

After a moment, Sarah prodded again. "I heard he even called your friend." JJ closed her eyes and the other woman tried one more time. "He is a very smart little boy."

"He is." JJ choked, her eyes welling with tears that she tried to hide.

"It must have been scary for him to—"

"What do you want me to say?" JJ exploded angrily. "That I'm a horrible mother? That I put my child in danger?"

"Is that what happened?" Sarah asked gently, her voice free of judgment.

"It was an accident." JJ reaffirmed, though admittedly less firmly.

"What was an accident?" The brunette asked.

JJ bit her lip. "I don't know." She deflected.

Sarah sighed, "JJ, everything we talk about here is confidential and nothing you and I talk about will leave this room with a couple of exceptions—"

"I know." JJ huffed as she rolled her eyes, well familiar with the confidentiality limits. "If you think I'm in danger of hurting myself, if the court requires you to disclose information you are required to. I get it." JJ bit out in annoyance before smiling with the calculated control she had perfected after years with the FBI. Smiling deceptively at the woman, she exuded a confident air she didn't feel. "Really, I just want to go home."

Sarah leaned forward, smiling kindly at the younger woman. "I am also required to disclose information if I think a child—your son, in particular—is in danger."

JJ's heart lurched. "How _dare_ you suggest that my son is in danger?" JJ could feel the tears burning behind her eyes, "I—it was a _mistake_! I—it was an accident!"

Seeing how easily this conversation was turning in circles, Sarah was more unnerved that JJ seemed only interested in deflecting each question and never really providing answers. However, Sarah had been doing this far too long to be knocked off her game by a simple redirection. "That's what we're here to talk about. If you can tell me what happened we can get this entire thing cleared up."

JJ bit her lip, unusually unsure of how much to divulge.

Truthfully, she didn't know what she remembered herself.

How much could she say?

How much did she still need to hide?

"What do you need to know?" JJ asked after a moment.

"What do you remember?" Sarah asked kindly.

"I'm not sure." JJ admitted truthfully, coughing involuntarily as her body reminded both women of the illness that sparked the incident in the first place. "I came home from the clinic yesterday. Dr. Bernstein said I had bronchitis."

"Is that the last thing you remember?" Sarah inquired, inwardly wincing at the thought of her client losing almost an entire day's worth of memories.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" She shouted angrily, "I just want you to leave me alone! I want to go home." JJ huffed, slightly embarrassed that she had lost her temper so easily, but growing increasingly worried at the thought of Will coming home and finding her missing.

She needed to get home.

"I can't do that JJ." Sarah refused to back down, exhibiting the fierce determination that had always helped her succeed. "The doctors in the Emergency Room found injuries on your body consistent with abuse. The hospital won't allow the doctors to issue your discharge papers until we have a talk."

"I don't remember!" JJ shouted finally, tears of frustration starting to pool at her eyes. JJ shook her head. "I gave Henry dinner, I made him Spaghetti." She counted off her night quickly, "and then it's _gone._"

Sarah waited patiently for JJ to continue her rant.

At the silence, the words of frustration spilled out of her mouth where in normal situations "I'm going crazy!" The tears brimmed at her eyes and spilled over, unrestrained, "I can't remember."

"You are not going crazy." Sarah assured. "That's perfectly normal after traumatic experiences."

"It wasn't traumatic." JJ shook her head immediately.

"How do you know it was not traumatic if you can't remember what happened after giving your son dinner?" Sarah asked, her tone genuinely confused despite having been through similar conversations time and time again. "Maybe it was so traumatic that you blocked it out?" She suggested.

JJ's face fell as she shifted uncomfortably against the over-starched sheets. "It's not what you think."

Sarah nodded, pausing to give JJ time to collect her thoughts. "It's not what I think?" She repeated gently.

"No." JJ huffed.

"Then why don't you explain it to me so I can understand?" Sarah asked sincerely.

JJ blanched, surprised that the woman seemed unwilling to argue with her. "I—" She struggled to come up with an explanation that would satisfy the persistent woman. She sighed in defeat, "I don't know."

"JJ," Sarah sighed, catching JJ's eyes in her own bright brown orbs, "do you know what abuse is?"

JJ shook her head immediately defensive. "Of course I know what abuse is. I'm not—you're wrong. It's not—"

"JJ," The woman's voice dropped and JJ stopped to listen to Sarah's words, "abuse is intentionally doing something that causes sexual, emotional, psychological, or physical harm or neglect." The genuine smile that graced her face faded on Sarah's lips. The adept social worker didn't miss the way that JJ flinched involuntarily at the suggestion of physical harm.

JJ bit her lip nervously, "He—he didn't mean to. It was an accident."

Sarah, who before then had been mindful not to touch JJ lest she startle the blonde, leaned forward and grabbed JJ's hands. "No, JJ." She shook her head softly, gulping down a swell of empathy as tears sprang to JJ's eyes. "It wasn't an accident. We both know that."

JJ closed her eyes and for just a second wondered what it would be like to expose this dark secret, to bring this dirty laundry to the surface.

She could be free from this, it could be over.

But she would be humiliated.

Because she wasn't the type of woman to get caught in a volatile relationship.

Victims were supposed to be poor. Victims were supposed to be uneducated. Victims weren't supposed to know any better.

And Jennifer Jareau as not a victim.

"He just…I just mess up some times. He really is a good guy." JJ murmured. Opening her eyes, the fierce determination she had thought was long forgotten had returned. "It was an accident." She insisted with finality. "Now can I go home?"

The social worker sighed, not particularly enjoying this part of her job. "No JJ." She sighed, "If you go back with Will, CPS might be forced to remove Henry from your custody."

JJ stared at the woman, gaping in disbelief. "You wouldn't dare."

"JJ, I will do anything to make sure that a child is not in danger." Sarah sighed seriously. "Now, is there somewhere you can stay? Some place you feel safe? If not, I can give you the name of several shelters in the area."

"There's only one place I feel safe." JJ admitted, her voice no larger than a whisper. "But I don't know—"

"Wherever you feel safe." Sarah assured.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and alerted to this story. I'm truly astounded by the response for this story, so thank you._

* * *

In the end, at the hint that JJ needed somewhere else to spend the night, Hotch jumped at the chance to let JJ stay with him. The chance to do something, _anything,_ to make this right was almost too good to pass up.

Because he had missed it for far too long.

"Henry's asleep." JJ sighed tiredly as she sunk down into the overstuffed arm chair. "Normally he whines until I sit with him and watch him fall asleep, but tonight he went to bed all by himself."

Hotch bit his lip, "How is Henry? When I picked him up at school that day, they said he was in 'Individualized Education'?" He asked carefully, not wanting to insult the mother, but dying of curiosity.

JJ shuddered as she remembered the argument that accompanied Henry getting '_that damn Retard Ed'_. "Yeah." She sighed, lost in her own thoughts. After a moment, she spoke, not really to Hotch but more to herself, "They tested him for autism, for intelligence…" She trailed off.

"And he's autistic?" Hotch deduced, having heard the rumors that circulated government offices.

She shook her head quickly. "No. I mean kind of. They've diagnosed him with autism, but—" She looked for the right word, "It's not that he can't talk, or can't interact in social settings. He just doesn't." She explained, "He shows some signs of autism, he gets startled with loud noises, he doesn't ever want to leave my side…" She trailed off and Hotch could tell this was something she had analyzed for years. "He's smart, not Reid-smart, but smart. Smarter than other kids his age." She added defensively.

"Why am I on Henry's contact list?" Hotch interrupted, deciding that topic might be safer ground.

After all, he didn't want to make things any harder.

JJ blushed furiously, and for a second Hotch cursed himself for bringing up another obviously sensitive topic. Then, he pushed that thought away as he realized that _somebody _had to be looking out for JJ even if she wasn't going to. After a moment, JJ spoke quickly to fill the awkward silence, "I don't think he thought I would actually let them call you."

"What do you mean?"

"Will and Garcia…" JJ cringed at the thought of the pair of them coupled together, "they don't get along, and Will didn't want her on the Emergency Contact list for Henry." She explained. "We needed someone else and…well I think he agreed to it because he thought I'd never let them call you."

Hotch blinked for a moment, completely uncertain of how to process this information. "So why couldn't you pick him up that day when they called me?"

JJ grimaced noticeably and traced invisible patterns along her knee as she sighed, "Can we not talk about this?" Her voice was vulnerable, pleading, as she begged, "Can we talk about something else? _Anything_ else?"

Hotch hated himself. He _loathed_ himself. But this was the _perfect_ opportunity. "When did it start?"

JJ's face blanched, and she bit the inside of her cheek. Deciding to delay the inevitable as long as possible, she feigned oblivion. "I don't know what you're—"

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about." Hotch interrupted. "When did it start? When did he start hitting you?"

JJ hesitated.

"When did he start, JJ?" Hotch repeated gently. He didn't want to appear to be a bully, but he had to know. He had to know how long this had been going on so he could help her.

So he could get her out.

"I don't know!" She snapped. "I don't know, okay!"

Hotch fell silent, knowing that at least the floodgates had opened. He hoped he could do something to help.

"I just—He's always been…protective." She explained, "when we were dating, he was so romantic, he always wanted to know where I was. He got frustrated with my faults, but Hotch he was—he still is—so gentle."

"JJ, you know it's not okay for him to hit you, right?"

"What, you think I'm some weak idiotic housewife that doesn't know any better?" She looked at him incredulously. "How could you think that?"

"JJ, I—"

"No!" She stopped him, "It's just…he doesn't hit me all the time. Most of the time, it's good. No relationship is perfect." She reasoned.

"JJ, it's never okay for a man to hit—"

"I know what you're going to say." She interrupted, as if incensed that he could be thinking the things that she knew deep down. "But you don't understand. I just make him so mad sometimes, and he's so _forgiving. _I don't deserve him."

Hotch ground his teeth in an attempt to stay silent.

"Sometimes, yeah, it gets out of hand. But most of the time, I just…I should know better than to make him angry after a long day of work." Seeing that she wasn't being at least outwardly judged, JJ stopped her defensive stance. "He loves me Hotch."

"How could he love you if he treats you like this?" Hotch asked sincerely, his stomach churning at JJ's insistence as the next question spilled out of his mouth. "How could you let yourself go through this?"

She paused, having wondered the same thing before herself. "I love him." She admitted, her voice cracking slightly with vulnerability at the honest statement.

She loved him. Maybe more than she had ever loved anyone else.

Which must mean he loved her too.

Hotch fell silent for a moment, words failing him. "I can't let him hit you." Hotch replied softly, his voice no larger than a whisper.

"It's none of your business." JJ retorted seriously, her eyes clear and warning as she folded her arms defiantly. "I don't need you to stop him. I don't want you to stop him. I want you to stay out of it."

"JJ—"

"Hotch, you're my friend, but if you want to continue being my friend, you'll let me handle this. It's my life."

"But he's—"

"I can handle it." She reported firmly, obviously ignoring the fact that she had just been released from the hospital and the Social Worker had forced her not to go home with Will.

"I know." Hotch's voice cracked and he cleared his throat as he gestured toward the stairs. "I know, but I'd better go to sleep."

JJ nodded, rising herself from the couch to awkwardly follow Hotch up the stairs to his guest bedroom.

As he reached the third stair, Hotch couldn't keep it in any longer and turned around, facing the blonde that he was now a foot taller than due to the stairs. "But JJ, I have to say—"

"Hotch" She groaned warningly, ready for another person to belittle her life.

"He doesn't deserve _you_." He gulped down the rest of his emotions, incensed that someone could be chipping away at the perfect Jennifer Jareau. "You're—" His voice cracked slightly and he shook his head, "You are great." He settled for lamely, knowing there was so much more he longed to say.

She snorted, "You'd be the only one who thinks that." She rolled her eyes good-naturedly.

"I only think it because it's true." He said, and without another word left a dumbfounded Jennifer Jareau on the first step, gaping after him in surprise.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and alerted to this story. I understand how this subject could be personal both to victims of abuse and to those who may have second hand experience. For that reason, I welcome anonymous and signed reviews. Thank you for your feedback._

* * *

JJ awoke the next morning to bright sunlight peaking through the blinds of Hotch's guest room. Cursing herself involuntarily for having slept in so late, she jumped up and quickly dressed. Pulling her hair into a tight ponytail, she rushed down the stairs, wondering how she could have let this happen.

She should be making breakfast—Henry needed a routine.

What was she thinking, sleeping in so late?

She was surprised at the smiling figure that greeted her as she rounded the corner toward the kitchen.

Hotch. In an apron. A red, frilly, apron. Making _pancakes._

"Good morning." Hotch's voice was gruff and low, but there was a gentleness that surprised her as he gestured to a spot at the table next to Henry. "How many?"

"Excuse me?" She sputtered as she sat down into the chair.

"How many pancakes?" Hotch repeated with a smile. "You strike me as a person that starts off with two?" He guessed, flopping the warm pancakes on a plate and setting it down in front of her. "Henry, would you like another one?" Hotch asked.

If JJ had been surprised at Hotch making breakfast, she was astounded by what happened next. "Yeah." Henry grinned, his face messy with chocolate and dripping with syrup.

JJ blinked, completely astounded.

"I hope you're okay with me giving him sugar." Hotch cringed as he flopped a couple of pancakes on Henry's plate and smirking as the boy doused his chocolate chip pancakes with syrup.

"Um, yeah." JJ shook her head to make sure she wasn't dreaming. "Yeah, that's fine." She blinked, still not quite comprehending.

Her son. Henry. Had just spoken.

Tears sprang to her eyes as she watched her son carefully cut his pancakes and happily shove them in his mouth.

Hotch seemed to appreciate the rarity of the situation, but didn't say anything lest he make the boy feel uncomfortable. Seeing JJ's awestruck joy, he bit the inside of his cheek as he prepared himself for a discussion he wasn't sure she was ready to have. "JJ, Garcia called. Derek and Emily are dropping her off here. They should be here any minute."

JJ's head snapped up in surprise, the pleasant easiness of the situation melting before her eyes. "Do they know?" She asked urgently with a glance toward the oblivious seven year old, attempting to stay vague for the sake of her son.

He didn't need to know everything that was going on.

People just didn't understand.

"She talked about how you had been in an accident." Hotch frowned at the thought of covering up what had happened.

But the _relief_ that washed over JJ's face nearly made him sick.

"Thank _God._" JJ sighed, gratefully thanking the day she had ever met Penelope Garcia.

"They deserve to know." Hotch reminded her gently. It wasn't that he wanted to pry, nor was it that he didn't think that JJ was capable of making her own decisions.

It was just….this team, they were a _family._ And he cared for JJ more than he would ever admit.

But damn it, why did she have to be so stubborn?

"Why, so they can pity me too?" JJ scoffed. "I told you Hotch, this is none of your business."

Inside, he wanted to scream. _None of my business? Loving you makes it my business!_ His heart longed to retort, but the broken look in JJ's eyes made him hold back.

He wasn't about to watch her get hurt, but there was something he had to do before he helped JJ rid the cancer from her life.

He had to convince her that she had a problem.

And just like addicts, that was the first—and hardest—step.

His thoughts were interrupted as a flash of color barreled into his home. "You're okay?" Penelope gasped, just about to wrap JJ in her arms before freezing as if suddenly struck with the thought that JJ could be hurt more than she appeared.

That thought wasn't too far off the mark.

Derek and Emily stepped inside gingerly, each shooting Hotch an uncomfortable smile as they stood in the doorway to the dining room.

"Nice apron." Morgan remarked, a teasing glint in his eye.

"Any of you want pancakes?" Hotch rolled his eyes, ignoring the jab. He bit the inside of his cheek, forcing himself to keep JJ's secret from spilling out of his mouth.

He hated this.

But JJ would hate him if he said anything.

"I'll take two." Morgan smiled, choking as Emily jabbed him sharply in the gut. "I mean, we probably need to get going." He amended, glancing briefly at the brunette who smiled her agreement.

"None for me, thanks Hotch." Emily agreed politely. "Is everything okay?" She asked hesitantly, somehow managing to clearly convey that she expected an explanation.

JJ sighed, smiling easily while Hotch and Garcia both prepared themselves for the lie. "Yeah, I just learned that coffee isn't enough to keep me awake at four in the morning." She smiled self-deprecatingly. "Light poles and cars just don't mix."

Derek and Emily both stepped back, startled as they looked to Garcia in confused surprise. "I thought you said Will was driving." Derek said, his eyebrow raised as he asked for clarification.

Something felt off.

He hadn't seen JJ in a while, but she looked older.

Sadder.

This just wasn't sitting right.

"He was." JJ amended quickly, shooting a glance at her friend before picking up the story seamlessly. "We were visiting my mom in Pennsylvania and Will had been driving all day. I tried to drive the rest of the way, but I was so tired so he switched me." She explained.

Emily frowned, not believing this story at all.

Like Derek, she felt the odd vibes that seemed to be radiating off everyone in the room.

Something wasn't right.

Quirking her eyebrow slightly, she eyed Garcia seriously. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." She promised, the underlying promise evident to all.

"Tomorrow." Penelope agreed, not breaking her gaze from cataloguing JJ's every feature—lest she miss some awful injury.

She couldn't fail JJ. Not again.

And whether the abused blonde knew it or not, she needed her help.

So Garcia would do her job. She'd make up stories, help JJ cover the trails. All the while cataloguing every piece of information. Skimming dollars and cents off Will's account for one set up in JJ's name.

Because one day, JJ would see she didn't have to live in the horror that had befallen her.

And when she was, Penelope Garcia would be ready.

* * *

Penelope sighed as she flopped onto Hotch's large comfy couch. JJ was up trying to make Henry take a bath and Hotch had run back to the office to grab some files.

She smiled at the unspoken message her favorite boss in the whole world had given her as he picked up his keys. _Don't leave her side, we're going to fix this._

She hoped that was true. JJ meant more to her than any other person on this planet, excluding maybe Henry. And Kevin. Sometimes.

But this was more than just staging some Intervention. This was more than putting out carefully constructed arguments to show JJ that she logically should not be with Will anymore. This was a matter of the heart. And her misguided and humble, yet totally emotionally vulnerable, friend just couldn't see it.

She deserved better than this.

A knock on the door made her rise warily to her feet. Tired enough not to bother looking through the peep hold, she opened the door slightly to shoo away whatever invader wanted to disrupt this rare moment of tranquility.

Yet the very sight of the intruder on the other side of the threshold made her very blood boil.

Because there, standing with all cocky self-assurance was Will La Montagne.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Penelope growled protectively, closing the door so it was open no more than a mere crack.

"I should ask you the same thing." Will rolled his eyes with an annoyed smirk. "Where is she?" Will asked, looking over Garcia's shoulder to peak into Hotch's home.

"Like I'm going to tell you? You mean spineless coward." Penelope scoffed, slamming the door quickly only to have it bounce back open due to Will's steel-toed shoes blocking its closure. Because of the commotion, she failed to hear JJ descend the stairs and come up behind her.

"Oh, I'm sure you're filling her head with all sorts of lies about me." Will spat. "Attempting to destroy what we have you petty whore—"

"Garcia, who is—?" JJ asked, pulling the door open wider and stopping at the glance of her boyfriend. "Will." She stated his name gingerly, as if uncertain the response it would evoke.

"Oh JJ." He rushed forward, ignoring Penelope's furious cry as the separated couple embraced. "I can't believe this is happening."

JJ's heart lurched as if finally finding a bottom to the endless pit of self-doubt and despair that seemed to grip her at every moment.

It felt so good to be accepted.

To be loved.

She almost wished this moment would never end.

"They fired me." He sighed as he breathed in her scent. "But JJ, we can figure this out together."

"I'm so sorry." JJ murmured as Will snaked his hand through his hair. "Will, I don't know how this all got so out of hand."

"I know you didn't mean for this to happen. You'll just have to be more careful." Will assured, rubbing her back gently. "JJ, I love you so much, I would die without you. I can't live without you—"

"Get away from her." Penelope threatened, the blonde curls and pink flowery jacket undermining the protective flame in her eyes as she wedged her way between the pair. "Get the hell away."

"Penelope—" JJ sighed.

"No!" Garcia turned quickly, holding up her finger. "You don't get to tell me that it was an accident, _I heard every word_." She whipped back to Will and gritted her teeth angrily. "Get off this property, now."

"Last time I checked," Will sneered, the loving persona dropping immediately as he pushed her slightly in an attempt to force his way into Hotch's home. "You don't live here. You—"

"Get the hell away from me before I call the cops." Penelope screeched threateningly, holding her ground like a wall set in stone.

There was no way Will was getting near JJ again.

Not while there was still a breath in her body.

Will frowned, hatred burning in his eyes as he held up his hands and took a step back. Before Garcia could shut the door, he held up a phone and extended it toward JJ. "Call me and we can talk." He smiled gingerly, sending opposite messages to the two women at the door.

JJ felt her heart surge, the thought of repairing this broken relationship nearly bringing tears to her eyes. One day, she could have it all. It could be right, it could be good.

She just had to get through the rough patch.

Garcia, on the other hand, wanted to vomit. It was like staring down the devil himself, _seeing_ the poison that the man inflicted but not being able to do anything about it. He was a cancer. He was a monster.

And her best friend _loved him_. How much more hinky could the world get?

JJ took the phone and waved apologetically as she backed away, letting a fuming Garcia shut the door with a bang.

"Look, I know what you're going to say—" JJ sighed, exhausted from all that was happening. "But—"

"JJ." Garcia rubbed her tense brow, fighting the urge to demand JJ destroy the phone right there.

Because that would make her no better than Will. And even if ordering her around might save her life, Garcia couldn't do that. She couldn't become _him_.

It wasn't as if JJ would actually listen to her anyway.

But she knew that look in her friend's eyes. She knew the way JJ's lips turned up slightly at the sight of that bastard what was going to happen.

Somehow, soon, JJ was going to go back.

And there wasn't a damn thing she could do to stop it.

"You're my best friend," The tech looked at JJ sincerely, tears welling in her eyes as she spoke straight from her heart. "You know that, right?"

"I know." JJ smiled, touched that her friend could care for her so much despite her messed up life.

"And you know I'd do _anything_ for you, right?" Penelope asked, the tears spilling down her cheeks.

"Oh Garcia, I know." JJ hugged her friend tightly, certain that if Garcia just understood, she wouldn't stand in the way of her and Will's reconciliation. But she was trying, and JJ would never fault her friend for that.

"Then please. _Pretty please._ With a cherry on top." She begged, pleading with every fiber of her being, "Please don't go back to him unless you are 100% abso-poso-lutely certain that nothing like this, or anything else that's happened, will ever happen again."

"I promise." JJ assured, already knowing in her heart it was true.

Because if she went back right now, it would be better.

It had to be.

Because Will loved her.


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and alerted to this story. I understand how this subject could be personal both to victims of abuse and to those who may have second hand experience. For that reason, I welcome anonymous and signed reviews. Thank you for your feedback._

* * *

Her new phone buzzed as it received a text message from the one person she longed to call. _'Miss you.'_ The words seemed to penetrate her soul.

She hesitated, knowing that Hotch and Garcia would not be happy if she replied, but wanting desperately to reestablish contact with the man she loved.

But would he be angry she had waited so long to call him?

She frowned, not liking that thought.

She knew others were just trying to help, but she couldn't seem to quell the uneasy feeling that tumbled inside of her. She was living at someone else's house, with someone else's money.

No matter how much Hotch said he didn't mind, she still felt like a leech.

Lately, her entire soul was in an uproar, caught between the need to stay with Hotch and appease the close-minded state workers and the longing she felt to fix her failing relationship.

She hated feeling like she was failing.

But she would do anything for Henry.

Even if it meant leeching off the kindest man she knew.

The door opened, startling her from her thoughts. "Hi Aunt JJ!" Jack smiled brightly as he pushed the heavy front door open and trudged into the house with Henry close at his heels. "We're home." He announced, sluffing his backpack off and dropping it quickly to the ground.

"Hey boys." JJ smiled easily, gesturing to the plate of cookies she had ready on the table. "Anybody want cookies?"

Jack's eyes grew wide as he slipped onto his regular seat at the table, awestruck at the welcome difference in the atmosphere now that Aunt JJ and Henry were staying with them. It almost felt like he really had a family again. He kind of liked it. "Really? Before homework?" He asked, uncertainly.

She winked as she placed a cup of milk next to Jack and left one on the table for her own son, "I think cookies are the perfect way to _start _homework, don't you?"

Jack quickly nodded and grabbed a still warm cookie that crumbled slightly in his hands. "Yep."

The front door swung open to reveal Hotch with several bags stepping gingerly into his home. "Are those cookies I smell?"

"Aunt JJ made them." Jack explained, his mouth still full of the sweet treat as he grabbed the glass of milk in front of him.

JJ frowned as she watched Henry pick slowly at the treat in front of him, seemingly distracted by his own thoughts.

"I picked up Henry's prescription." He smiled, handing the small paper bag over to JJ who sighed gratefully.

"Thanks Hotch." She smiled, though it didn't reach her eyes. Glancing down at the receipt, her jaw dropped open in shock as she saw the price. "Oh Hotch, you shouldn't have—I'm so sorry."

"JJ, it's okay." Hotch reassured, placing the new gallon of milk in the fridge. "It's not a big deal."

"It came to $200." She exclaimed, "it's a huge deal."

"JJ." Hotch sighed, hating that she was beating herself up over this.

It wasn't a big deal.

He was happy to help.

He _wanted_ to help.

Henry watched the situation unfolding, pushing the paper in his pocket further down as he could feel the atmosphere shifting.

"I'll find a way to pay you back." JJ promised, hating the nagging thought in the back of her mind that reminded her she had no way to do so. She would find a way. She couldn't let Hotch swoop in and rescue her from her own choices.

But if she went home, things would be okay. She and Will could figure it out together.

"JJ, you've done so much for me over the years." Hotch reminded her, frowning as he could see that she didn't believe him. "Let me do this for you." Seeing the hesitation still in her eyes, he acquiesced slightly. "But you can pay me back whenever you can."

Henry finally released the breath he had been holding as JJ smiled gratefully and nodded. "Thanks."

Frowning, the boy watched the situation carefully out of the corner of his eyes. He had learned long ago not to let his parents know he was watching them, but he was waiting for the perfect moment. At the easing tension in the room, he stood quickly and tugged gently at the back of his mother's shirt, biting his lip as he looked around nervously.

"What do you need sweetheart?" JJ smiled as she crouched down slightly to meet his eye level.

He thrust the piece of paper into JJ's hands. She frowned as she read over the permission slip, her heart sinking at the required $40 to see the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum.

"Oh." She said lamely, once again painfully aware of her inability to provide for her son. Now, because of her choices, not only was her son without a father, she was going to have to tell him he couldn't go with the rest of his class.

Henry shuffled nervously in front of her, as if waiting for the words of apology. If he didn't want to go so badly, he wouldn't have given his mom the paper. But it was _airplanes_.

"Maybe you and I can go together, another time?" JJ smiled brightly as she tried to hide her own disappointment.

Her son should have everything. And instead, once again she had to explain to him why he couldn't go with everybody else.

Because she was failing him.

Henry nodded, his shoulders slumping slightly as he snatched the paper out of her hands and slipped back to his chair at the table.

"I can give you the money JJ." Hotch spoke up softly, not wanting to get the boy's hopes up, but hating to see both JJ and Henry so distraught.

She smiled, inwardly hating having to rely on someone else to provide for her son. "Oh, uh—" She ran her hand through her hair, "Hotch, I can't ask you to do that."

"Please." He whispered, in an attempt to prevent Henry from hearing. "Let me do this for him."

JJ sighed as she glanced back toward her son. Though he showed no emotion, she knew how badly he wanted to go.

Hesitatingly, she nodded and forced a smile.

If they were at home, it wouldn't have been like this. She could have convinced Will to give them the money, and Henry wouldn't have needed to worry about her finances.

Things would be better at home.

Henry would be able to be with his father.

She wouldn't be relying on _Hotch_ to take care of them.

She and Will could work it out.

* * *

Hotch woke the next morning, and quickly descended the stairs, hoping to get breakfast finished before JJ and the boys woke up.

He wasn't about to admit it aloud, but he kind of enjoyed this.

It almost felt like he had a family again.

And while he knew as well as anyone that pretending to have a family with JJ wasn't real, it still felt good.

Pulling on his apron, he frowned as he saw the paper with JJ's neat scrawl etched into the paper stuck to the refrigerator.

_'Hotch, thanks for everything. I don't know how I deserve a friend like you, but I promise I'll pay you back. Henry and I have gone home, so don't worry. –JJ."_

He closed his eyes, the words on the paper cutting his soul.

She had gone back.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and alerted to this story. I understand how this subject could be personal both to victims of abuse and to those who may have second hand experience. For that reason, I welcome anonymous and signed reviews. One review in particular touched me with her honest story. If you want me to remove it from where everybody can see, let me know, but just know that I am honored at your feedback. _

* * *

JJ hesitated with her fist raised to knock on Hotch's door, sighing. She really didn't want to have to do this.

And it felt different, coming here in the light of the day, with no horrific argument still looming over her head.

Things were better between her and Will, and after the accident that happened the other day she was willing to do just about anything to keep the fragile peace

Even if it meant coming to Hotch and asking for his help.

Because they were happy.

And she couldn't ruin this for Will.

Mustering the courage for the barrage of questions she knew was about to face her, she knocked firmly at the door, grateful that she knew Hotch was home on a rare day off while the boys were still at school.

The door opened, and Hotch registered shock for only a second before the questions flew out of his mouth.

"Is everything okay? What did he do to you?" He asked immediately assuming the worst as he ushered her inside.

"Everything's fine." JJ smiled, brushing away the stray bangs that hung in front of her left eye. "I just came over to ask you a favor."

Hotch frowned, searching her face for any trace of deception.

Sensing Hotch didn't believe her, she rolled her eyes. "I came over because I knew you wouldn't believe me if I called." She explained, not bothering to add that if Will saw her making frivolous calls on her new cell phone, it would only spark an argument.

And things had been so good lately.

She didn't want to ruin that.

He chewed the inside of his cheek, inwardly recognizing that she was right. Because he didn't believe her now. "Everything's okay?" He asked again.

He had to be sure.

Because he knew better than anyone that abuse just didn't get solved overnight.

"I'm fine." She smiled reassuringly as she cocked her head to the side impishly, all while fighting the urge to be mildly annoyed. Hotch cared about her, they were friends.

And truthfully, it was kind of sweet that he was worried.

But she could take care of it.

She could feel his eyes searching through her, rolling her eyes once more, she sighed. "Fine. Is there anything you'd like to ask me?"

"Has he hit you?" The words were out instantly.

"Hotch—" She sighed. He didn't understand, that hadn't happened since she had gone home. Things were better. The volatile relationship between her and Will was over.

And she couldn't be happier.

"Has he hit you?" Hotch repeated again, not bothering to entertain any excuse she could give him.

There was _no_ excuse for hitting someone you loved.

JJ looked at him directly, grateful that she didn't have to qualify her answer. "No."

Hotch sat back, slightly mollified. That didn't mean it was over, but that was a small relief. At least he wasn't hitting her, though he hated to think what else might be happening.

They sat in silence for a moment, allowing that new facet of information to fall into place.

"You said you needed a favor?" Hotch prompted.

JJ's expression changed, and for a moment Hotch saw the grief cross across her features, immediately replaced by some emotion he couldn't identify. "You know how the school is having another one of those 'Picture Projects'?" She asked.

"Yeah, this time they want a picture of me and Haley before Jack was born."

"Yeah." JJ sighed, searching for the right way to explain. "Do you have a copy of that group BAU photo that we took at the Christmas Party before Henry was born? I'd ask Garcia, but—" She trailed off, not wanting to admit that she was avoiding her best friend.

Garcia would be furious.

And she didn't need another person telling her how awful Will was. She loved him, and he loved her. She didn't need another person reminding her of everything that was wrong with him.

Because he was the first, and maybe only, person to really love her.

And she couldn't be happier.

Except…

Hotch didn't bother to comment on what might make Garcia upset. "Yeah. Wait right here." He instructed.

He rummaged quickly through the box of photos in his closet. Moments later, he handed the picture over to JJ and saw a relieved sadness wash over her. "I thought you had a copy?" He asked conversationally.

"I did, but it got—" JJ hesitated before squaring her shoulders, "It—" She trailed off, wondering if she should really spend the time and explain when she knew he wouldn't understand.

He sensed there was more to the story, and torn between desperately wanting to know and being absolutely certain that he wanted to remain oblivious, he stayed quiet.

JJ knew that look, and though she knew she and Will were happy now, she felt compelled to explain. "It—it was a mistake. We were cleaning everything out, and Will started burning a bunch of old trash."

Hotch's stomach fell. "He burned it?"

He could hear the hesitation in her voice despite the bright smile plastered across her face. "It was an accident." She smiled reassuringly, "I had it in a box in our closet and he thought it was just some old garbage."

Hotch bit his lip, forcing himself not to make the observation that JJ was the last person to simply 'hold onto trash'. "Yeah, take that one, I should have another copy."

JJ sighed gratefully, "You are a life saver." She smiled, and despite his training as a profiler, he barely caught the slight hitch in her voice as she admitted, expressing the hint of vulnerability that made his blood boil. "My mom made me that album."

He recoiled as if he had been struck.

JJ's mom died only a year ago and Hotch had once caught sight of the album she must be talking about. It was obvious the album had been made out of love, and one night when he and JJ were finishing a project for Jack and Henry's school, he had caught a glimpse of the pictures carefully arranged on colorful pages bound together in a thick book.

And Will had burned it.

Hotch rubbed his worn hand over his tired eyes, as if by doing so he could erase the horror that was happening in front of him. "JJ, please—"

"I know what you're going to say." She stopped him, her eyes hardening stubbornly. "It's fine. It's over and done with. Mistakes happen." She said, though lately she wondered if Will's intentions weren't as innocent as she was lead to believe.

But the idea that your boyfriend was purposefully destroying family heirlooms hurt more than she could possibly fathom.

It was easier to believe it was an honest mistake.

Though lately, it was harder and harder to believe that.

_IT WASN'T A MISTAKE!_ He felt like screaming. Instead, he nodded, knowing that if he allowed JJ to alienate herself from him that she would have no one to turn to.

He couldn't leave her alone.

"Mistakes can happen." He agreed, cursing the way her shoulders brightened with relief. _Just not to you._


	14. Chapter 14

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and alerted to this story. I understand how this subject could be personal both to victims of abuse and to those who may have second hand experience. For that reason, I welcome anonymous and signed reviews. Constructive criticism to this story, and any others, is genuinely appreciated._

_Sorry it took me a while to post new chapters, I just moved and life is crazy._

* * *

Nearly a week later, Hotch was pulled from a deep sleep by an incessant pounding that seemed to be coming from his front door. His stomach sinking, he quickly stood and pulled on a shirt before rushing to the door and throwing it open in the hope to usher the only woman who would be knocking at his door at this hour into a safe haven, protected from the evil influences she didn't seem able to see.

One day would be different. One day she would be ready to leave. One day she would be ready to put this all behind her.

And when it came, he would be right there beside her. But until then, the only thing he could do was to wait and pray that 'one day' would be today.

"Is she here?" Will asked, his fist still raised to continue his assault on Hotch's front door.

Hotch frowned at the sight of the younger man, well aware that his response could teeter the precarious scale of JJ's home life. Anything he said that hinted that JJ had told him about the situation would only be used to hurt her.

And he would die before he let that happen.

"Who?" Hotch yawned, shocked to see the younger man at his doorstep. Though his hair was still tousled from sleep, he feigned ignorance lest he make the situation any worse for JJ.

For JJ.

That was all he ever thought about anymore.

"JJ? Is she here?" Will demanded sharply.

"No." Hotch replied, his voice surprised at the thought that JJ would have gone somewhere _else _than the sanctuary of his two-story home.

"Bitch." Will muttered under his breath, though still appeared to have some hold on reality as he smiled apologetically at Hotch, deceptively trying to hide the monster that lurked beneath the surface. "Hotch, I'm so sorry to wake you, I just am so worried about her. I thought she might come here."

Will frowned as his mind jumped to analyze the next locations he should check. He hadn't _actually_ expected her to show up here, but the fact that Hotch lived close made it a possibility. And right now, Will LaMontagne had one objective: he had to find her. She had to know she couldn't leave him.

He wouldn't let her.

"She could be at Garcia's." Hotch offered, hoping that Will had already wasted time looking there. His heart sank slightly at the thought that JJ had gone somewhere outside the safety that his own home provided. He forced away the thought that he liked being the safehouse she could run to.

As long as she was safe, nothing else really mattered.

Will shook his head with frustration as he quickly dismissed Hotch's suggestion. "She knows better than to go running off to _Garcia's_ after we have a fight." He murmured.

Hotch's face paled as he realized the eclectic tech might not have told him everything that had happened before he became aware of JJ's situation.

And he felt struck once again that with each stone that was unearthed in this awful situation, he only learned that there was far more happening than he could ever imagine.

He felt sadly certain that whatever was about to happen next wasn't good.

"If you hear from her, will you let me know?" Will asked, his voice urgent as if he were the perfect boyfriend searching desperately for his missing girlfriend.

But Hotch knew better.

Whether the man knew it or not, he was a monster.

And Hotch would die before he betrayed JJ.

"Sure." He murmured, grateful for a reputation as a stoic block of stone that made it easier to mask his utter disgust at the other man who smiled and took his leave.

One day, this would all turn out differently.

One day, there would not be the threat of future retaliation by a man too coward to fight someone his own size.

One day, Hotch would exact revenge for the terror this man had inflicted on his own family.

And Hotch would be waiting.

* * *

Tears ran down JJ's face as she sat on the cold park bench in the dark, pulling her son closer to her as if by sheer proximity she could protect her sleeping child.

The late spring air was still cool at this late hour, but it was as if the coldness inside her seemed to chill the air around her.

Things had been so good lately.

Will got a job as a graveyard security guard, keeping him away from home during the long dark hours. Until tonight. Tonight he had come home to find her asleep, and just like she should have expected, an argument ensued.

But he had never threatened to take away her son before. He had never told her that he wouldn't let her leave. He had never warned her that he'd rather see her rot in hell than get custody of their son.

Tonight was different.

Tonight, she had been terrified.

She hadn't been nursing a split lip or icing her black eye. He hadn't raised a hand to her.

But for the first time, JJ saw the cold calculated seriousness in his eyes.

And she was afraid for her son.

When he had gone back to work, stealing her keys to keep her from leaving, she had just stood simply in shock before picking up her sleeping son and walking for God knows how long before collapsing on the park bench beneath her.

She couldn't go to Hotch, not after everything he had done for her.

Garcia had developed an ulcer - a direct result of worrying too much about her failing relationship - so even if her best friend hadn't been out of the question before, she definitely was now.

Tomorrow, she reasoned, she would see the light of day and realize it hadn't been that bad. That she was over reacting. That any threat she had imagined was the result of too little sleep.

But tonight in the cold starlight, all she felt was empty.

And afraid.

* * *

A week later, JJ found herself standing in front of Hotch's door for less happy reasons than an attempt to find a silly picture.

Or even that her boyfriend had simply hurt her feelings.

She had been walking on eggshells while Will's patience was waning more and more every day.

Tonight, there was no denying what had happened.

There could be no blissful ignorance as she buried her head in the sand.

Maybe tomorrow morning, she could come up with some way this could be her fault, some miniscule moment that she could have foreseen.

But right now, there was no more living in the dimly lit closet of denial.

Because tonight, her boyfriend had hit her.

He was a mean drunk, she knew that. But tonight he had been stone-cold sober.

And he was vicious.

She had always heard that abuse and alcohol went hand-in-hand. She always pictured abuse being accompanied only by an empty twelve-pack littering the coffee table.

But tonight was different.

Tonight she hadn't done anything wrong.

It had been _perfect_.

And he hit her anyway.

And after he hit her, he tried to tell her it was her fault. Tried to make her admit that _she_ was wrong.

With a knife up against her throat and Will leering over her as he told her she could never leave him, denial flew right out the window.

It was as if a light bulb went off in her mind. The reality she had been shutting into a tight box had burst, cutting her almost as sharply as if Will's hand had twitched and sliced her skin.

She was being abused.

She shook her head as she ran her fingers through her long blonde hair in disbelief. How had it come to this?

She forced herself to knock sharply on Hotch's front door, wincing as she thought of just how messed up her life had become.

This wasn't supposed to be her. Abuse, it happened to other people—to weak, stupid women.

Not to her.

"JJ?" Hotch asked, yanking the door open wide as he ushered the wide-eyed (and shock ridden) woman into his home, her son trailing behind. "What happened?" He asked, sickened at the fear he could feel radiating off her.

"Is it—Hotch—" She closed her eyes, as if begging her subconscious to wake her up from this nightmare with the opening of her eyes again. "Is it okay if I stay with you for a while?"

"Absolutely." He spoke quickly, without hesitation as she stood rooted to the spot just inside the door, biting her thumbnail as she seemed to be consumed with contemplating something horrific.

He leaned down and whispered to Henry, encouraging the boy to go upstairs and find Jack. Henry hesitated as he watched his mom closely, but eventually relented and headed upstairs, the action going completely unnoticed by JJ.

"Is everything alright?" He asked softly, hoping against all reason that tonight would be different. That she wouldn't go back again.

That she would be safe.

She looked at him, turmoil clearly etched along her face, "I need help." She admitted, tears pooling in her eyes.

His heart broke with a mixture of joy at her admission and being panged at the pure devastation that filled her voice. "I'm here JJ." He promised, pulling her into a hug as she fought the urge to sob against him. "I'm here."

"Hotch, I can't go back." She stated, her voice vulnerable and small as it caught against the emotion rising within her.

"No." He sighed with relief. "You can't."


	15. Chapter 15

_**Author's Note: **Thanks to everyone who has read, reviewed, and alerted to this story. I understand how this subject could be personal both to victims of abuse and to those who may have second hand experience. For that reason, I welcome anonymous and signed reviews. Constructive criticism to this story, and any others, is genuinely appreciated._

_Sorry it took me a while to post new chapters, had a little bit of writer's block._

* * *

Hotch frowned as he watched JJ fiddle with her waffles, as if completely unaware of the others surrounding her. He noticed Henry's careful gaze watching his mother as well as if trying to interpret this shift in her mood.

Sensing all eyes on her, JJ lifted a forkful of pancakes to her mouth before attempting to smile brightly as evidence that everything was going to be alright.

She could see that neither Henry nor Hotch bought it.

"Dad!" Jack exclaimed suddenly, sensing the tension in the room but unaware of its severity and the reason behind it. "There are four of us!" He exclaimed excitedly.

Hotch turned his focus away from the blonde picking at her breakfast. "Um, yeah Jack there are four of us." He agreed. "It is also Saturday."

The young boy rolled his eyes, aware that his father was oblivious to the exciting development that Jack had just discovered. "Games are best with four people." He explained as though it was the most obvious train of thought in the world. "We could play games _all day._" His face exploded into a wide grin that reminded Hotch instantly of the boy's mother.

Hotch cocked his head to the side. "Who told you that? You and I play games just fine. We don't need four people."

"Everybody knows that." Jack rolled his eyes exasperatedly, looking far older than his nine years.

"Yeah Aaron, _everybody_ knows that." JJ smiled, this time the joy reaching up into her eyes at the prospect of a respite from the heavy situation that weighed on her soul.

"So can we play?" Henry asked, picking up on the excitement in the room.

JJ stopped, stunned as she stared at her son in surprise.

"Please?" Jack asked, unbothered by Henry's sudden words.

JJ recovered quickly, not wanting to disrupt whatever magical atmosphere that had encouraged her shy son to assert himself. "Of course we can play. Why don't the two of you find us some games to play?" She suggested, smiling as the two boys bolted from their seats at the kitchen table.

Turning to Hotch, she gaped. "Did you see that?"

He nodded. "Maybe everything is going to be okay after all?" He theorized, pleading within himself that the woman that often graced his dreams would come to the same conclusion.

"Maybe."

* * *

After a game of Clue, Operation, Apples to Apples, and half a game of Monopoly that ended with a 'Merger' and the declaration of a tie, the group played a quick game of basketball before settling down to watch a movie.

As the characters came on screen, JJ's hand entangled itself in her son's thick blond hair as she contemplated the next steps in her life.

She didn't have _anything._

And though this day, this one perfect day, had been full of joy, excitement, and an easy-goingness that she couldn't quite describe, she knew that this was not her life.

She was a mother.

And everything she owned, every heirloom, trinket, toy, article of clothing, all of it was back at her apartment with Will.

She felt Henry snuggle up against her and his breathing slow softly as he drifted off to sleep, guilt plaguing her as she thought of all the things her little boy would never have because she left his father with nothing but the clothes on her back.

There was an easy solution of course, she had to go back.

Not _back,_ she corrected knowing that she could never return to Will's embrace. But she needed things: money, clothes, food. All of it in order to start a new life for her and Henry. She had already screwed up Will's life enough, she didn't need to press charges.

But as the movie wore on, she became more and more certain. She had to go back and end it once and for all.

She wasn't quite sure when the movie ended, but wasn't surprised when Hotch offered to take both sleeping boys upstairs.

She was going back.

* * *

He knew her mind was elsewhere as he returned to the fluffy couch, but at least for right now, for tonight she was here. Here where he could make sure nothing bad ever happened to her. Here where he could protect her.

"Neither of them woke up." He said softly, wondering if the vague allusion to her son would snap her out of her melonchaly mood.

"Oh." She shook her head as she forced herself not to think what horrors could await her. "Thanks."

"Is everything okay?" He asked, worry evident in his voice as he sat down next to her.

"Yeah, it's fine." She smiled, and without thinking grabbed his hand in her own. "Thanks for everything, you don't know what this means to me."

He smiled, unable to voice the spark of excitement that raced through him as her skin touched his own. "It's nothing." He shrugged eventually.

Looking up at the dark orbs that seemed like windows into his soul, she shook her head. "It's not nothing." Lifting her hand to cup the back of his head and keep their gaze interwoven, she added, "It's _everything."_

For one moment, everything stopped as the pair sat in silence, drawn to one another like a magnetic force pulling their hearts onto the same plain. "JJ we shouldn't..." Hotch murmured, trailing off as his mind tried to come up with a reason why this shouldn't happen.

Because it felt so right.

And truthfully, he'd fantasized this moment for far too long.

But the last thing he wanted to do was take advantage of her while she was vulnerable.

"Shhh." She shook her head as she drew him closer, unwilling to let anything get in the way of something her heart yearned for. Later she could come up with an explanation of why this was wrong. But for the first time in a long time, she was doing something for herself. Something that felt right and good and made her feel loved. And for a moment she felt like she deserved it.

Hotch dipped his head and closed the gap between them, JJ's soft lips only inches apart from Hotch's when the soft buzzing interrupted the pure true moment.

And that moment ended.

Snapped from the magical power that seemed to have been drawing her closer and closer to the security and safety Hotch provided, JJ looked down at her phone, unsure of whether she should feel grateful or upset that the device had prevented her from stealing an intimate moment she had longed for with a good friend.

_Will_.

"I'd—" She hesitated, looking at Hotch with a yearning she couldn't describe. "I'd better go."

He frowned, wanting with everything inside of him to stop her from leaving.

"JJ, don't. Don't go." The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

"Aaron." She sighed, "I have to go. I need to go." Sensing the rage boiling within him despite his normally stoic face preventing her from seeing the emotions inside of him, she stopped, "What's wrong?"

"You're going _back._"

She bit the inside of her lip, knowing full well what was about to happen when she went home. She wasn't stupid. And she couldn't live in blissful denial anymore.

But she didn't have any other options.

"I am." She frowned slightly. "But I just…" She searched for some way to explain. She wasn't afraid anymore. Not really. But she had to say goodbye. She had to let Will know that it was over. "I have to say goodbye."

"At least let me come." He offered. "The most dangerous time for a victim of abuse is when she is trying to leave."

JJ bristled slightly at the classification as an abuse victim, but let the comment slide.

It _was_ abuse, she reminded herself, wondering why it was so hard to admit that. It was hard to think of herself as a victim, but a victim of abuse? She'd have to keep wrapping her head around it.

"I'll be fine Aaron." She smiled, wondering when exactly she had switched to calling him by his first name. It just felt right. "Will and I might have our problems, but we are both adults, I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, he's not going to do anything."

He looked at her, biting back the point that he obviously had no problem smacking JJ around for no reason. Now she was at least giving him a reason, which made Will all the more dangerous.

"Don't go." He said again, and for just a moment she felt her heart soar with the possibility, just to feel it crushing back down to earth. She knew Hotch. Truth be told, she loved Hotch more than she'd care to admit. But he deserved better, and one day he would wake up and realize that.

It was better for her to end this before it started.

She had to tell Will it was over, and then she'd spend the rest of her life alone. Just like she deserved. "Aaron—" She sighed in an attempt to explain.

"I would give you _everything_," He pled, his eyes boring into her with fierce intensity confirming the veracity of his words, "and you go back to _him_?"

"Hotch—" She cringed as he winced visibly at the 'friendly' term, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't let herself pretend he meant it in any way but their sibling-like friendship. It hurt too much when she was reminded that her life would never be the happy 50s sitcom that she could only envision happening with Hotch. "Aaron, you don't understand. Henry's father…I owe him more than slipping out in the dark of the night."

"JJ, I can't take this anymore!" Hotch groaned obviously disgusted at the thought of her returning to that monster. "I can't be your safe haven for you to run to whenever things get bad, and then be forced to let you go. Every time you leave, I die inside."

"You do?" JJ asked, her voice above a whisper. He couldn't mean that he loved her.

Because as much as she'd like to believe it, Hotch deserved better.

"I stay up all night, I can't sleep, I worry that something will happen or that you won't be able to come back." He admitted, hesitating for only a second, he pulled out the last card he had. "I love you JJ. I can't let you do this."

She gaped, simply not able to comprehend his words. "I—" She stopped for just a second, her heart surging.

"Stay here." He pled once he was certain she couldn't find the words to finish her sentence. "Stay here with me, and Jack." His tone was almost desperate—frantic—as he begged her not to go. "Just stay."

Time stopped as her heart seemed to leap at the chance for true happiness. Visions of picnics and family night football games danced before her head and she couldn't explain the joy that radiated through her at the thought of spending the rest of her life with Aaron Hotchner by her side.

Sensing that she was on the verge of agreeing, he pressed forward, "We _both_ know that if you go back now, even to say goodbye, that he won't let you leave. JJ, please." He took her hands in his own and stared into her soul, "Stay."

She gulped as she saw the honest pure love in his eyes. But he couldn't be offering her that. He was too good, too kind, too _Hotch_. And envisioning something that could never happen would only hurt her more.

She shook her head, as if by so doing she could shake away the choice before her that she felt she didn't deserve. "Aaron, I can't."

Hotch's face fell, devastated.

"I should go." She kissed her fingers and pressed it to his lips, allowing herself just for a brief moment to imagine what it would feel like to allow Hotch to love her—to take her in his arms and protect her—to joke with her during Monday Night football games—to argue without a punch or a slap—to apologize without hidden motives.

It would feel wonderful.

Pulling her fingers back as if they had been burned, she stood.

"I love you and I'll be here when you're ready." Hotch repeated softly as he watched her back away slowly.

"Hotch, I am sorry." JJ bit her lip, as she tried to force her emotions down.

She moved quickly, certain that if she lingered she would lose her nerve.

But Hotch deserved someone who could make him happy.

Not someone with issues.

And boy did she have issues.

As she reached the staircase, his voice stopped her. "Let Henry stay here. I'll bring him to the soccer game tomorrow." He asked, not bothering to add that it would be better for the boy to be away from what Hotch knew was going to be a volatile argument.

If only he could convince JJ to stay away.

"Okay." She agreed, her voice small as she tried to keep it from betraying how very close she was to teetering on the edge of her very carefully managed control.

She ascended the stairs and slid into the extra bedroom and kissed a sound asleep Henry, somehow managing to keep the tears from gushing down her face and waking the boy.

She could cry later. Later she could mourn the death of a happiness that could never exist.

Now, she had to get home and gather up everything in her life that had meaning before she walked out Will's door forever.

She couldn't look at Hotch who watched her as she descended the stairs. Wordlessly, she floated toward the door as if dragged by some heinous cable toward the nightmare that awaited her. Just as she placed her hand on the doorknob, Hotch's soft voice sounded in her ears.

"When you're ready to leave, _to really leave_, I'll be here." He promised. "But until then, I can't do it anymore."

JJ choked down a sob as the tears poured down her cheeks unabashed. Without turning around she opened the door leaving the only man, who she had ever truly felt loved by, sitting devastated on the couch.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Author's Note: **So I almost talked myself out of letting this chapter happen (which is the reason for the writer's block that delayed the LAST chapter). But as much as I wanted JJ's sudden epiphany two chapters ago to change everything, I just couldn't do it. I want to give JJ a happily ever after, but I just couldn't do it yet. And, like many people, something JJ thinks she has under control is completely out of her control._

_Thanks to all of you who havve continued to read and review despite my month-long hiatus._

* * *

Hotch felt his heart stop as Will set up the lawn chair on the sideline. "Hey Hotch," The Southern man smiled easily, as if his entire world hadn't just been shattered. As if his girlfriend and the mother of his child hadn't just left him.

Maybe she hadn't.

"Will." Hotch fought the desire to destroy the other man as the young team of seven to ten year olds trotted onto the field. "JJ's not here today?"

Hotch didn't miss the way Will's jaw tightened angrily. "She couldn't make it." He ground out, his gaze harsh as he looked out onto the field. "But thanks for watchin' Henry. We all appreciate it."

He thought he was going to throw up.

"It was fine." He dismissed, feeling his stomach roll with the thought of Will pretending like nothing had happened.

But maybe JJ was simply at home baking mounds of cookies as she waited for her perfect family.

He frowned, that was just about as likely as Morgan having a secret stash of Star Trek memorabilia.

"You know, Jack was wondering if Henry could come get ice cream with us after the game. Would that be—"

"No." Will said abruptly, and as if he recognized the sudden sharpness in his voice turned on his sickly sweet southern charm. "We need to spend some time as a family. Just the three of us."

Hotch's stomach rolled.

If something was wrong before, now everything had just gone to hell.

* * *

He waited just around the corner as he saw Will's new Lexus pull out of the driveway. Waiting until he was certain the other man was gone, Hotch pulled the hood further over his face lest Will have used his many police contacts to watch his own home.

One thing was for certain, he just had to be sure. If JJ still wasn't ready to leave, he'd understand. He wasn't about to beg her to leave with him—being rejected once was _more_ than enough for JJ to get her point across.

As he knocked softly on the door, some part inside of him reminded him that JJ hadn't rejected him, she just was packing up to leave.

Maybe, _hopefully_, she would already be gone.

"JJ?" He called through the door, "It's me. Open up."

He could hear the TV blaring, and his worry grew as no occupant seemed to have any desire to open the door.

"JJ? I'm coming in." He announced, quickly throwing the spare key JJ had given him into the lock and slipping inside.

He stopped and slid the hood off his head in shock as he surveyed the destroyed apartment. Clothes were strewn everywhere. Blood dripped from the entryway table and shards glass and porcelain littered the floor.

"JJ?" He called more loudly, his worry skyrocketing by the second.

His eyes widened as he saw the suitcase that was torn apart at the seams on top of an overturned table in the corner of the room as if it had been heaved violently against the wall, knocking everything down in its path.

She had tried to leave. So where the hell was she?

Stepping further into the home, he called again. "JJ?" The urgency in his voice was heightened by his worry. "JJ, where are you?"

He ran his hand through his hair in confusion, where was she?

He was so consumed with trying to find JJ on his own, that he missed the scuffling that came from the garage as Henry bolted back into the living room to stop in front of the TV.

"JJ?" He called again, starting up the stairs before catching a glimpse of the seven-year-old that seemed to materialize out of nowhere. Turning around quickly, he tapped Henry gently on the shoulder causing the boy to whip around in surprise. "Henry, I'm looking for your mom. Do you know where she is?"

Henry nodded, his face breaking out into a soft smile though Hotch could easily see the boy had been crying. He grabbed Hotch's hand, gently tugging him through the dining room and stopping at a door that he supposed either led to the garage or the basement. Sighing as he fought the dread that rose within him, Hotch pushed the door open surprised as the stale musty air of the garage hit him with a force.

But the smell that reeked of fecal matter and urine, exacerbated by the hot and humid August air, was nothing compared to the sight of the woman he loved crumpled against the far wall of the garage. He fought the urge to wretch as JJ's bare body shivered under the large tool bench that almost looked like it was a part of her confinement.

"I couldn't get her out." Henry stated blankly, only then alerting Hotch to the raw fingertips of a boy who never should have been exposed to such violence.

Thrusting his phone into the seven-year-old's capable hands, Hotch smiled reassuringly. "I need you to stay right here and call 9-1-1 and ask them to come, can you do that for me son?"

Henry nodded and Hotch turned back to the woman he loved more than he could say in one swift motion.

He shed his sweat shirt quickly, covering up her nakedness in one single swift move, trying not to notice the way her fair ivory skin had turned into a mass of dark ugly bruises—some turning a greenish yellow, others blacker than a night without stars. He pulled off the dirty rag that seemed stuffed in her mouth and smiled kindly as her eyes opened drearily in surprise.

She blinked for a moment, as if unsure the he was really there while Hotch pulled gently at the tight telephone cord that seemed entrenched JJ's swollen wrists and ankles. "I'm here JJ." He assured, wondering how long JJ had been lying here hurt and broken while he sat on his couch mourning the loss of a relationship that barely had the chance to get started. Had it been hours? Was she like this while he was watching their sons play soccer?

He could have helped her, could have _saved her_.

But he was here now.

"Aaron?" She sputtered in disbelief, her lips cracked and bleeding.

"I'm here JJ," He repeated, grabbing a pair of scissors from a bucket in the garage and trying to focus on the bindings that were literally cutting off circulation to her extremities.

How could a bastard do this to the woman he claimed to love?

Hotch paused as he looked down at the almost invisible stripes that revealed the bindings preventing JJ from any movement.

He was so focused on getting her free—on releasing her from the fetters that kept her enslaved here in this torment—that he missed the mumbled words that escaped her lips.

"JJ, I need you to stay with me." He smiled despite the seriousness of the situation, finding his heart melting as the blue orbs captured his. "What did you say?"

"I—I chose wrong." She croaked, licking her soar lips.

Hotch sawed at her bindings, wincing as he sliced her delicate inflamed skin and grimaced, "JJ—"

"I—I was going to leave him." She murmured, her eyelids drooping tiredly. "I was going to leave." She slurred. "I'm sorry."

He brushed a hand against her hair as he continued to work on the restrictions that seemed to only get tighter as he tried to cut them away. "You have nothing to be sorry for JJ."

His voice was soft and gentle, and for a moment JJ felt it lulling into a sense of security.

But after the last few hours she wasn't entirely certain he was really there. Vaguely, she heard Hotch calling to Henry and mentioning something about an ambulance, but it was as if he was trying to speak to her through a thick fog that weighed down on her.

It wouldn't matter much.

Not anymore.

"Aaron?" She asked again, creaking open her eye with all her might to check and see if he really was still there.

"JJ, I need you to stay with me, okay?" His voice was desperate and he didn't bother to hide his plea behind a veil of masculinity or control. "I can't lose you."

"You—" She licked her lips, barely feeling the pain that sparked as her dry skin soaked up the moisture, "You shouldn't have come" Her arms fell limp as Hotch finally succeeding in cutting away the bindings on her wrists. "You deserve so much—" Her voice was weak, fading rapidly though she tried to finish her parting words. "But you came."

Gently, and mindful of the injuries that peppered her face, he traced along her jaw-line, willing the fierce longing he had for her to permeate his very touch. He smiled when she looked at him, "I will _always_ come for you."

Her hand reached up and cupped his, pressing his calloused hands against her face and reeling from the warmth and comfort his presence provided. "I'm sorry." Her voice was no more than a whisper and her eyes drooped heavily.


	17. Chapter 17

_**Author's Note: **This chapter pretty much speaks for itself and it is different than I originally intended. Thank you to my reviewers._

* * *

Pain. Anguish. Turmoil. Guilt. Horror.

He could see it in their eyes. Each and every one of them.

And damn him if he didn't feel the same way.

"How the hell did we miss this?" Derek exploded, shatttering the shocked silence that had overtaken the entire waiting room as they awaited any news on JJ's condition.

He wanted to shut down. He wanted to allow the anger to consume him like it only had once before. He was literally seconds away from having his carefully controlled and practiced stoicism snapping entirely.

But looking around at the nearly empty waiting room, Hotch catalogued each of the people under his stewardship and felt their burdens heaped upon his already tired shoulders. Henry clung tightly to the fabric around Hotch's large elbow as if needing the comfortable reassurance that things would be different, while the seven year old seemed otherwise engrossed in his nintendo. Reid sat in the corner, unconsciously picking at the cuticles of his fingernails as he stared off distantly. Emily was desperately trying (and failing miserably) to keep herself from pacing as she waited apprehensively. Dave's anger brewed beneath the surface, content to at least wait for news about their fallen colleague before unleashing his fury. Garcia looked absolutely devoid of emotion, crippled as she sat in the chair nearest the door. Finally Derek who couldn't seem to sit in the same place for more than five minutes, continued to fidget nervously as they waited for any news about JJ.

Because even if she was gone from the BAU, she was supposed to be family.

She _was_ family.

And they had failed her.

"I haven't talked to her in thirteen weeks." Emily blurted out, as if the information was somehow relevant. "Maybe if I had..."

"Why didn't she tell us?" Derek moaned.

"Why did she have to tell us?" Reid countered softly, his words hanging in the air as the question none of them could adequately resolve. "Why didn't we notice?"

The soft question silently accused each of them as every adult in the room contemplated how they were individually responsible.

"Family of Jennifer Jareau?" A man in dark green scrubs stepped out from behind the waiting room doors.

"That's us." Hotch asserted quickly. The man didn't bother to raise an eyebrow, plunging forward quickly.

"Ms. Jareau is stable right now, we've got her hooked up to some antibiotics and fluids. She had some nasty - - " The doctor rambled on but Hotch couldn't make himself listen if he wanted to. There was only one thing that mattered.

JJ was alive.

"She's okay?" Emily asked, uncertain if she really could hope that the best possible outcome had indeed happened, needing the final confirmation that JJ would be alright.

"She can have visitors, but please limit it to one or two at a time." The doctor smiled as he saw the relief in their eyes. "But she's going to be alright."

"Thank you." Dave was the first to be able to find his voice, the others (and Dave too though he would never admit it) overcome by relief that their failure to notice JJ's torment hadn't been a fatal mistake.

The doctor took his leave, glad to at least be able to give good news. Too many women came through these doors with less desirable outcomes.

"Henry. Let's go." Garcia nearly bolted out of her chair, not bothering to check and discuss with the others who would go in first.

She had to see JJ with her own eyes.

She had to know she was okay.

A thought stopped her in her tracks, "Sir?" She turned, waiting for Hotch to acknowledge her.

Because as much as she wanted to sit by JJ's bedside and promise her that this was all over, she couldn't be certain until something else was taken care of.

And she knew just the person to do it.

"It's fine Penelope." Hotch dismissed blankly, automatically assuming she was waiting for permission to join JJ's bedside. "Stay with her, we'll be out here."

Garcia nodded, frowning as she looked at the paper that contained her neat scrawl. She knew what giving this slip of paper over to Hotch meant.

And truthfully, she didn't really care.

She could worry later about right or wrong. "Here." She thrust the neon green sticky note into his hands and pulled Henry along with her to find JJ's room.

Hotch glanced down at the paper, not certain exactly what it was supposed to mean. _Joe's. 3451 N 2150 W._

"Agent Hotchner?" A voice disrupted the quiet, and Hotch's head turned up sharply to see Chief Watson shifted uncomfortably on his heels, obviously uncomfortable as all eyes snap toward him. "Can I have a word?"

"Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of them." Hotch ground out, not bothering to make this cop's job any easier.

The Chief sighed reluctantly, well aware that each person in this room was on edge. He too felt a swift pang in his stomach at the realization that he could have done more - - _should_ have done more - - to save the broken women he watched paramedics load into an ambulence.

He alone was to blame for the conduct of his officers.

Most of the time, he was proud to be a man in blue. A man who had spent his life protecting citizens and defending his brothers behind the shield.

Today however, he was ashamed.

"I have officers searching for La Montagne." The lack of any sort of title stuck out to him as he subconsciously tried to distance La Montagne from being one of his former officers. Because the truth hurt far more than the seasoned police chief wanted to admit. "So far it appears his cell phone has been turned off, but I have officers scouring the city." He explained, looking at each one of the federal agents despite the anger and loathing he felt eminating from them. "We will find him."

"And then what?" Derek spat, quickly losing any semblence of control. "Then he goes through the system? A day in jail? A protective order? He almost _killed _her!"

Chief Watson felt a lump in his throat, he too already aware of what outcome this would likely have. "I'm doing the best I can." He admitted genuinely.

"Well it's not enough." Emily spoke up coldly, her voice devoid of any emotion making the words all the more biting.

"As soon as I have information, I'll let you know." The Chief nodded grimly extracting himself as quickly as possible from the federal agents who clearly despised him. "We will find LaMontagne." He promised, leaving the agents alone once again.

Silence fell over the others as they contemplated everything that had happened in the last few minutes.

JJ was alive.

Will was missing.

"Damn it! He's going to get away with this!" Morgan exclaimed in frustration.

"I know where to find him." Hotch ground out as he glanced down at the paper Garcia had put in his hand, instantly losing all sense of reason as he realized what the paper meant. All he could see was red. Right now he wanted blood, and only one person's blood would suffice.

Will La Montagne's blood.

"We're coming with you." He heard Rossi say distantly.

It didn't matter.

Because right now, the only thing that was going to save Will La Montagne from Hotch's wrath was sitting in a hospital bed.

* * *

They rode in silence, anger stewing below the surface. Every one of them knew what this meant, caution taking a back seat as a pack mentality seemed to override any semblence of restraint.

And none of them particularly cared.

"Meet us in the ally." Hotch ground out, "I'll get him out of the bar."

They nodded, Hotch following them around the corner in order to come in the back entrance.

It wouldn't due to be seen right now.

Because someone might stop them.

In the end, they didn't even need to worry about how to get him out of the seedy bar. Just as they arrived at the back entrance, Will stumbled out the exit, forcibly pushed by some woman in the bar. "Get the hell away from me." The woman shouted, abandoning Will to a pack of wolves she didn't know was out there.

Really, Rossi smirked as Emily thrust La Montagne against the wall of the alley behind the bar, the profiler brought back from the dead was absolutely terrifying.

"How does it feel?" She seethed as she held him up against the wall, her forearm pressed tightly against his throat. "Bastard."

Will blinked suddenly choking as his airway was blocked.

"Prentiss." Hotch growled, calling her off.

For now.

It wouldn't be fair to finish him off early.

He deserved to suffer

Will coughed. "What the hell- -" He gasped painfully, "_bitch._"

Derek nearly picked the smaller man up off his feet before throwing him across the alleyway. "Somebody should have taught you how to treat the ladies." He seethed.

Reid, being the closest to the fallen boxes where Will now lay haphazardly, kicked his former friend with everything inside of him. "I trusted you." He spat as the drunk man picked himself up off the ground, swooning slightly as he tried to stumble away.

Dave stuck out his foot, easily tripping Will and sending him back to the ground.

Where he belonged.

Hotch picked up the drunken slop from his collar, thrusting him forcefully against the brick wall where Prentiss had him immobilized only moments before. "Tell me. Tell me why I shouldn't kill you right here."

Emily flanked Hotch's right side, clearly waiting for some answer justifying Will's measly life.

"You wouldn't dare." Will slurred, his breathe reaking with alcohol.

"I wouldn't?" Hotch asked, his voice cold and inhuman.

"I don't know if you _remember_, you miserable piece of scum," Emily spat, "But I was _dead. _I have _no_ problem ending your sorry excuse right here."

"He's killed a man with his bare hands." Derek stepped up, gesturing toward Hotch as he stepped up on Hotch's left while Will's feet dangled precariously.

"Tell me why I shouldn't _end you._" Hotch snarled, shoving Will more forcefully against the wall.

"She wouldn't want you to- -"

"You know what she wouldn't want" Hotch slammed him against the brick wall once more, Will's head bouncing like a child's bouncy ball off the hard surfcace, "She wouldn't want to be lying in a hospital room because you _almost killed her._" Hotch slammed him again.

"Hotch- -" Rossi stepped up, loving the pain that this jackass was enduring, but knowing JJ wouldn't want his blood on their hands. "Hotch stop. He's right, JJ wouldn't want this."

The name seemed to snap Hotch out of the madening rage that had consumed him. Reluctantly, Hotch released his grip and Will fell haphazardly to the ground.

Emily, entirely dissatisfied with leaving this pathetic excuse for a human being still breathing, kicked the downed man swiftly in the groin before he could stand.

Will cried out in pain, writhing on the ground as he tried to recover.

"I'll tell you what's going to happen." Rossi squatted down, unbothered as Will continued to groan in pain. "You are going to get on this plane," He tossed a plane ticket out from his pocket, "and you are _never_ going to set foot in this country again. Do you understand?"

Will continued to writhe in pain, unable to speak due to the force with which he had been kicked.

"Prentiss?" Rossi looked up, and at Emily's nearly giddy grin she was only able to take a step forward before Will cried out.

"Okay!" He cried, tears in his eyes as he forced himself to respond. "Okay."

Hotch's face contorted with anger as he looked down at the broken man in front of them. "If I ever even hear of you again, I'll kill you myself."

And that was a threat he was entirely willing to keep.

Will nodded, terrified - - for good reason- - by the gang of FBI Agents that still surrounded him.

"Your plane leaves in an hour." Dave stood and without a second glance walked back toward the parked SUV.

The others followed, leaving the still drunken and injured William La Montagne on the ground.

Never to be heard of again.


	18. Chapter 18

_**Author's Note: **Unfortunately, all good things must come to a close. I thought about extending this fic through JJ's recovery process, but I decided that I liked this better since I wrote a fic that covered the same subject a while back. Thank you to all of you who have read or reviewed, I am genuinely touched by the outstanding response I have had to this story._

**_Upcoming Stories: _**_I'm currently working on an AU fic that I'm really excited about. I'm also developing a story requested by another author as a sequel to Needful Things. I decided, however, to delay posting these stories until I've finished all of my other CM fics. So if there is one you would like me to give priority to, I'm all ears. _

_If you or anyone you know is caught in an abusive relationship, I implore you to seek help to leave such a dangerous situation. For anonymous and confidential help around the clock, PLEASE call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)_

* * *

The worry that consumed him didn't lessen with time. In fact, it only grew stronger. But standing around with the team the next morning as they recounted in vague, and somewhat redacted, details of what had become of Will while JJ lay on the cold hospital bed at least reassured him.

Everything was going to be alright.

"So wait, you gave him a plane ticket, where did you send him?" JJ smiled, somehow managing to keep the small inkling of fear out of her voice. If her team said Will was gone, she believed them.

There weren't many people she could trust like that.

The others looked to Rossi, surprised that they themselves hadn't thought to ask the seasoned profiler. "Dave?" Emily prodded once it was clear that the older man wasn't going to answer of his own free will.

Dave chuckled, glancing down at his watch. "He should be getting off his flight to Moscow just about now."

"Moscow?" Derek snorted. "Serves the bastard right."

A second or two of silence passed as each person inwardly agreed.

Emily grinned suddenly, "Moscow is an awful place for an American that doesn't speak Russian." She could barely contain her giddiness at the thought.

"A buddy of mine lived over there and got beat up by the Russian Marines." Derek rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he smiled widely. "Guy almost died."

"Russians drink more vodka than water." Reid added with a small devilish smirk. "So maybe he'll fit right in."

"One thing's for sure." Garcia rubbed the back of JJ's hand carefully, mindful of the various tubes that stuck out of the ebony skin that was marred by bruises and cuts. "He's going to have a hell of a time straightening out his financials. I've reported every single one of his cards stolen, placed him on a terrorist watch list, and removed him from all of your joint accounts." She looked up to see JJ's eyes glistening slightly. "The only way that rat bastard is getting back into this country is with a raft and a paddle."

"You guys shouldn't have done all of this." JJ sighed, touched that her friends would go to such lengths for her protection, "You should have let the police handle it."

"Jayje, no offense? My only regret is that I waited this long." Penelope looked up at JJ before adding, "I would do anything for family." She repeated the words that her best friend had long ago spoken on a night very different from this one, grateful that no one else knew the importance of that phrase.

JJ had killed a man (albeit a crazy killer one) to protect her. Garcia was willing to do exactly the same.

JJ's eyes misted with tears at Penelope's words. "Thank you." She managed to choke out, hating how much her emotions seemed to have come to the surface.

Hotch waited for a moment before clearing his throat awkwardly, knowing that if he didn't do this soon he would completely lose his nerve. "JJ, can I have a moment alone with you?" He asked, more to the others than to her as she was still confined to her hospital bed.

She nodded, and the rest of the team slowly left the room. "Hotch, I'm so sorry. I should have..."

"Don't." He shook his head, smiling softly at her in a hope that she could feel everything he could never say. "You have nothing to be sorry for."

"You've been so good to me, I don't know how I can repay you."

"I do." He sighed.

She smiled, expecting him to propose some romantic getaway, some galavanting trek where the pair could ride off into the respective sunset. And the butterflies in her stomach confirmed what she felt with her heart- - she couldn't wait.

But she should have known that Aaron Hotchner was full of surprises. "I want you to date someone else."

"What?" JJ asked incredulously, certain that she must have heard wrong.

Will was gone.

Their lives could be perfect.

Together.

"JJ, I love you. I've loved you for a long time."

"I love you to." She replied instantly.

"Do you?" He pressed, not angry but desperately wanting to challenge her automatic response. "JJ do you even know what you want anymore?"

She blinked, shocked by the question. "Well, I...Hotch, I want to be with you." She replied in a small voice, suddenly having to blink back tears that threatened to pool at the corner of her eyes.

He sat down in a swift motion at her bedside. "And I want to be with you." He agreed, "More than every fiber of my being."

"But you want me to date someone else?" She asked, still not comprehending.

"JJ, I want to let you find yourself again." He admitted, taking her hand. "I watched as Will stole a part of you. The happy spark in your eyes, the things that made you who you are, he _took _that from you." Hotch shook his head sadly. "And I can't be the re-bound that always makes you wonder what you could have had."

"Hotch—"

"No. Listen JJ." He squeezed her hand tightly as if he was afraid to let go. "I know that you might fall in love with someone else. That's okay. But I can't be with you until you're ready."

"Why?"

"I love you too much to ever let yourself wonder if the feelings between us were just you reaching out when you needed help. I'm here for you. I always will be. But when you're ready, when you're ready for it all, I will be here."

"So, it's like 'if you love her, let her go and see if she comes back'?" JJ snorted sarcastically.

"Something like that." He smiled sadly. "JJ, I just want you to be happy."

"And what if that involves me falling in love with someone else?" She asked, knowing deep down that it was impossible.

In fact, this very conversation was an example of everything she found attractive about Aaron Hotchner.

He may be a self-sacrificing idiot, but he loved her.

And if she thought about it, if she was really honest with herself, she had to admit that what he was saying was right.

She needed to learn to be herself again.

"I don't want lose you." She admitted.

"You won't." He promised, "Because I'll be waiting for you."

She did nothing to stop the tears that ran down her face now, overcome by the love she felt for the man at her side. "I can't let you put your life on hold while I sort through my issues." She shook her head. "I want you to be happy. I can't promise- -"

"Stop." He held up a finger to her mouth, stopping before he touched her cracked lips. "I don't need promises." He smiled sadly, "I just need you to be happy."

.oOo.

It took two years.

Two years from the day that Aaron Hotchner saved her from a fiery pit of hell, JJ found herself on his doorstep, her happy bright nine-year-old standing confidently beside her.

She knocked, struck by the familiarity of the gesture.

But that wasn't her anymore.

It almost felt like an alternate reality, one where she wanted to scream at her past self that she didn't do anything wrong. That she wasn't going crazy. That love wasn't supposed to feel like that.

She shook her head, sad for the woman she had been two years ago, but well acquainted with that grief. That woman had changed for the better.

And finally realized she deserved this chance of happiness.

He answered almost instantly. "JJ? Henry? What are you doing here?" He asked, brushing his hand through his thick dark hair that was only now beginning to shimmer with small flecks of silver.

Her heart sank for a moment at his surprise. "Sorry, do you have company?" She asked, nearly laughing to herself at the thought that Aaron Hotchner would just be waiting around for her. She shook that thought away, ready to face whatever obstacles were now in her way.

Because if she had learned anything, it was that she—Jennifer Jareau—was capable of overcoming anything.

"No, not at all." He smiled, gesturing for them to come in. "I was just taking a nap on the couch. Come in. Jack's upstairs Henry." He smiled as the boy bounded up the stairs, then glanced back behind JJ out the open door, "Is Greg coming?" He asked innocently, only JJ catching the soft lilt in his voice that betrayed how much he detested the man.

"No. I broke up with Greg three weeks ago." JJ smiled, somewhat sad at the end of a relationship with a good man.

But Greg was nothing like Hotch.

Gregory Miller was nothing like Aaron Hotchner.

Aaron Hotchner commanded respect with a quiet authority that was only surpassed by how much he truly loved his subordinates. Gregory Miller was a mid-level accountant that preferred numbers to people.

With Hotch, JJ felt like an equal, a partner as they made decisions from the most complicated issues of which serial killer to find next, to the most mundane of where to go for a Happy Meal. Greg was content to let JJ make each and every decision without reserve.

And for a while, JJ had needed Greg. She needed someone who would follow her blindly.

But three weeks ago she had lain in bed, startled by the realization that her relationship with Greg wasn't going to last. She didn't want to make all the decisions. She didn't want to have to control a relationship.

And then she realized something that made her face break out into a wide grin. She was ready.

Breaking up with Greg had been easy. What had been hard was waiting long enough to prove that _this_ moment was not born out of emotional vulnerability.

She was making her choice.

"Why didn't you say anything at work?" Hotch asked, surprised. He saw JJ nearly every day at the BAU and considered her a close friend.

Despite the fact that they both knew he was still waiting.

"Because." She smiled shyly, "I wanted to see your face when I told you this."

"Oh?" Hotch closed the door, gesturing for JJ to enter the room. "Told me what? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I think it finally is." She smiled, disregarding his invitation and closing the gap between them before pulling him close as she pressed her soft plump lips to his own. "I'm ready."

"You're what?" He asked, pulling back so he could get a good look at her to make sure this was really happening.

"I'm ready." She smiled, certain that she had found her happy ending.

It had taken a while, there had been bumps in the road, and even times where she wondered how she had become so hopelessly lost in life.

But now, all she felt when she looked into the deep dark eyes of Aaron Hotchner was joy.

* * *

_"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life, but define yourself."_

_-Harvey S. Firestone_


End file.
